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Diffidence



In my dreams I can tell you-
But you’re too far in; sinking-
(Skin on skin, on everything.)
You’re like a rash, a burn,
A smoulder in my mattress and air,
The broken ends of you hair-
They all remain.

I hate your smell-
The little parts you give to me
That I know has been etched
In your bed a thousand times.

I’ve forgotten to breathe-
My feelings what I see-
Remnants and pictures
You’ve saved for a million other hearts




- Empathy-eyes

Author notes

Not particularly a poem, just thoughts. Commas are used as breathing spaces.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • OurxBeginning
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very touching piece indeed that you have penned. I liked the references you made in this. Nice diction and set-up too. Simple but powerful. Thanks for entering and good luck.

  • Just Rachael
    September 25

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Wow, it's been a long time since I've been on here and read your stuff. Forgotten how good it was! I love this piece. Especially the lines

    '(Skin on skin, on everything.)
    You’re like a rash, a burn,
    A smoulder in my mattress and air,
    The broken ends of you hair-
    They all remain.'

    Your agony with haunt of this person is palpable. Great write, thanks for sharing!


  • leo2
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    It's been over a year since I, personally, experienced the type of emotions you write about here but oh how they linger on the heart, mind and soul.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long
    ps. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my work. I do appreciate it very much.


  • Act on Impulse
    September 9
    Edit | Reply
    very strong display of emotion- more than narrative.

    Tre bon!!

    Belle..


  • smitaanand
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    Is it about betrayal in love or about unrequited love? More likely the former . Nevertheless your pain is almost palpable I can just say that may The Eternal Healer, Time palliate your grief and give you new joys to savour...


  • almostgrwn
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    wow...thats deep...wish i could hav so much power behind my words....they sound as if your talking, hurting, hating.......good poem


  • Vernal Bloom
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    Oh how sad and how touching! I'm so sorry you had such painful experience in love, hope it is just a poem and you don't feel this way though it is hard to believe you don't have feeling about something and writing that strongly.
    A good sad poem here. Thank you for sharing it with us

    ~Massy~

1 - 11 of 11