Once I loved a son of Man
But I never will again
For even when our story began
We knew that it would end
For I was dubbed the angel
He, a troubled warrior
who came across a temptation dangled
before his weary eyes
As he persuaded me to stay
I felt I could not leave him
for in his heart I heard him say
"I love you, please don't leave me."
I stayed beside him many years
Content to battle my nature
for I heard the cries and saw the tears
of the heavens wishing me home
But stay, I did, in joy complete
Sure I could know no more
When in his absense I chanced to meet
a man who showed me more
So in a moment I did turn
from angel to betraying
And in that moment he did earn
the power to damn or save me
Though I dubbed myself a Jezabel
You never did wholely blame me
for how could you damn me to eternal hell
when we always knew there'd be an end?
He seemed so tough, said he was fine
but he didn't really mean it
I know him well, I read the signs
I was the Delilah to his Sampson
But inthe end, I returned again
to pick up any lost pieces
And restore them to the man he'd been
But I only found and empty shell, and me...
... I was forgotten...
Persistantly I searched for more
and what I saw disturbed me
Replaced by a simple whore
Masqurading as his angel
So for the last time in his eyes
I became much more than forgotten
I told him all the self-told lies
and was dubbed his guardian angel
Even now, as I look down from above
I watch over him constantly
For though I'm now with my eternal love
I'll always be his angel
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Ah, my honey bear. I really like the theme and the movement: the different pieces were awesome, definitely made for an interesting and gripping story. I want more details about the forgotten angel, though--it's such a unique idea that I want to see exactly what that means. You're right, whore does fit. Leave it. Your story is very complete: you understand what happens to the angel, but you're still confused about the warrior and exactly what he went through. The fourth stanza is my favorite, it's so pretty! But the third one, dear, is slightly not so cool. Too repetitive. Synonyms, dear! Conclusion is great, the redefinition of the relationship, yes yes. The two bible references were great, but I almost want a third one, just to make it kind of constant throughout the poem. Lol I'll let you know if I think of anything good
Loves!


