by Spiral
I endured
the scorn
the daggered stares
beyond endurance
for a while
a private panic
a hint of crisis
goes ignored
existence falters
still I endured
I live
breath
hope and smile
in happy thoughts
only for a while
expose the truth
you precious few
you vanishing few
with the will to live
love me
help me
I've endured
too much
x
What did you think
Comments
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I love the pace and mood you've managed to achieve with poem. The short intense lines and masterful brevity are key in this and extremely well done. The second stanza is my favourite. It brings uo a feeling of that internal jumble that we feel and refuse to let the world see. I love the contrast the third stanza brings. Things that normaly seem so common or happy become external and functional. The last stanza, with its plea to be loved and helped in vulnerable yet gentle and pained. Beautiful.
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