I have spent a whole night and day
to write one verse of perfect rhyme,
partial grumpy words stare my way
as the calm clock snickers and chimes,
fatigued pen falters with each line
yet my persistence makes him work,
the force to create turns to crime
on snow white ground his life blood lurks
Author notes
A Huitain has 8 lines. Each line has 8 syllables only.
Lines 1 and 3 should rhyme
Lines 2,4,5 and 7 should rhyme
Lines 6 and 8 should rhyme
A contest entry
- Form Poetry --- II by rinzurajan.
700 points, ended November 1, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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thanks...loved this form...its a very different form which i have never heard of...good luck
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Wow, this is great!! so cleverly put together and your feelings amazingly delivered. Great work!!
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Oh, my feelings entirely, and I think this is what makes us all strong, and street wise. Tony
Lovely work
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Could be verse...
Neat, but, for me, slips up, as I consider it cheating to rhyme 'rhymes' with 'chimes' and 'work' with 'lurks'.. The first instance could be cured by having 'clocks' and 'chime'. The second might then slip past. My view. -
Wonderful little poem a real joy to read You have manage the form well in my eyes But what do i know Good luck in the contest
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Though I'm not into forms, I really enjoyed this one as I could almost picture you coming up with this as the clock casually ticks away.
Troy
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