Cascading sweetness engulfs taste buds
underneath an overwhelming sensation.
Cloying syrup-like substances are a dominating
experience, much like your sugar-coated voice as
you weave gilded lies into my ears.
Feigned affection is just one of your numerous vices,
Elated bliss is your masquerade, a sanctuary for your false pretenses,
You whisper words that could be found in sentimental love letters, inducing saccharine smiles.
Author notes
yeah so this sucks
A contest entry
- Jury of Your Peers #12 by islekine.
700 points, ended September 9, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Shiz this had great great imagry!
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it does NOT suck! i love it! i can feel it, and i am soo sorry.
you are an amazing poet, dont second guess yourself!
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sorry
I keep clicking this thing before I am finished lol any way back to the subjest at hand >>>greatword count, flow is excellent and subject isn't exactly my favorite makes me feel fat!lol all in all a great poem! Good Luck it is a winner......hum maybe I have to read the next one! lol well see.
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Excellent
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It doesn't suck! lol! It just feels genuine and ... hmm sort of a point in time kind of thing. I can see someone thinking this as they walk away bitterly keeping their anger inside... Although the fluidity etc. of "worked on planned out" poetry is great... it is the stream of conscious type I like best. It is far more raw!
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Sweet and sticky!
I enjoyed this! Although...I prefer pure cane sugar of course!
Best wishes in the contest and always!
Thanks for playing along!
Write on and on!
and
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dang it....i want cake. don't ever say that your writing sucks, it's great
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I think I put on 4 pounds reading your poem.
A moving write. Well presented.
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