It'll be sometime after midnight
before he comes up with some kind of excuse
In the time between twilight and
an end to this lanky night,
I've pulled out the charcoal and smudged
another abstract swirl and slash of lines
He's learned not ask what it supposed to look
like and I don't bother to explain that all
things in those drawings are running
I feel like it's funny without a smile
because I'm so much more sloth than gazelle
Oh hell,
Whatever excuse he says this time,
means about as much as dog taking care
of his morning constitution on an evening walk
I wish he'd get that already.
Author notes
This is all I got today. And I'd share my pb and j if I could.
A contest entry
- Compelled by Nicole Hanna.
2000 points, ended September 21, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Sure can feel the emotions blazing through this one. Like the way it captures a mood and attitude right from the opening. Nice write, thanks for sharing
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Oops, I forgot
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This is all you got today? I wish I could get this on a daily basis. Thanks for entering. Loved the third stanza, that all things are running. It sounds so cynical, which is a passion of mine! lol
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Oh I didn't need the applause. Your comment was just great!
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(Y)
Nice job!! ... Really good! =D
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Bitter-sweet....
with the emphasis on the bitter! What on earth does the poor bastard feel a need to make excuses for? It is best we are left guessing: has he been out on the town? How far has he gone? Has he failed to appreciate some finer point of aesthetics? Or is the clue in 'general irritation' -something I easily relate to?
Well, I am not going to go on - for fear of feeding it!
e
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hmmm... i like it. :-) just not sure i know what it means... (since it is so abstract and all lol)
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strangely sad communication and yet quite the art maybe ask more of the end unto the comfort in dignity of the piece and the future? well abstracted thought thou, seems like it explains how you two miss yet how you click at the same time?
w success
-Jas
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I liked it, it was quirky, the title lead me into what I expected. Some good lines in there and definitely some uniqueness and also some of the imagery played along with the abstract theme.
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