Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Pietro

Umbrian hills stain his eyes
mimic the furrows in his cheeks

but his voice is colored
with dust and Wyoming mountains

he still whittles young women
with foreign voices, dark eyes

called Shorty now
no one mentions the town

he claims was home
long ago before he fled west

far west to work the ranches
of the high plains

always ready to challenge
those who laugh

at Pietro da Bastardo.

Author notes

Pietro by Alex Wagman. http://www.collectionprivee.com/Wagman/gallery/22.html
Wish I could post the picture - be sure to look at it.

Bastardo is a town in Umbria.

In a list

A contest entry

Please Crtique - I intend to revise this.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • sideways hourglass
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely image here. Thanks for entering.


  • Draig aine gold member
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    you captured hm well, the expression is keenly present in your write, I can see him in my minds eye, well done indeed


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 9

    Edit | Reply

    "still whittles young women
    with foreign voices, dark eyes"


    You've used such a great sculpture as your prompt for this piece, grammabuff. I also noticed that Umbria is similar to the Italian word ombra, meaning shadow, which is apropos in relation to the geography of the region. I confess, for many years I would succumb to the charms of those who were the quintessential "tall, dark and handsome", and if they had the voice to accentuate that, so much the better. However, I finally managed to get over that tendency, as so many of them were only aspiring to become heartbreakers instead of being serious suitors. I loved the attitude of the sculpted piece, too - how many of us would love to be so casual in our disdain, yet pull back from it? That takes courage, and the strength to back it up. I enjoyed the various descriptions and language you've used in detailing your character. It seemed to me he could have easily been an outlaw of sorts, hiding from his past in another country, yet still somewhat haunted by what has occurred in his life, which makes for great storytelling, in my opinion. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck, Sweetie.



    • grammabuff
      September 9

      Edit | Reply
      His story could go in so many directions. So could several other sculptures by Alex Wagman. I have a few more poems lurking.

      Thanks for running this contest - such great sources for prompts.