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Clear Your Mind

 

 

 

 

Just close your eyes and let the sound of water clear your mind
as you sit beneath a willow in the shade;
and now for this one moment please imagine you are blind
and let your other senses be waylaid.

The sound of water lapping at the river’s grassy banks,
the chatter of the ducks as they swim by,
a blackbird in the treetops singing loudly, giving thanks,
as the breeze among the leaves just breathes a sigh.

Remove your shoes and let your toes be cushioned by the grass,
it’s coolness helps to calm the heat of day,
lie back and let the problems of your life just fade and pass
and let the inner child come out to play.

Hear the swish of casting rod as fish espy the bait
and minnows swim in jam jars on a string,
the heron sitting in the tree with patience, he’ll just wait
as he surveys his river like a King.

Time that you were heading home, the owl let’s out a cry
his sharp eyes busy searching for his prey;
the shafts of evening sunlight kiss the ripples as they die
and night-time wraps itself around the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt.
Choose any lake,ocean,river,

creek or stream,even a little

pool that impresses you...

Try not to make a story out of a poem

about?

(25 lines)

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 106     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Bluemonday silver member
    September 19
    Edit | Reply
    I read this again as i have read many of your poems over and over...You have this wonderful ability to transform words to pictures as we should all do and have, everything else is just a charade, just like writing a note for shopping otherwise....Anyoldhow......Thank you very much...Dan...


  • Bluemonday silver member
    September 17

    Edit | Reply
    this is a truly piece of wonderful poetry encapsulating all that a poem should be...Wonderful...Dan


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 17
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks again Dan for reading and commenting again, I appreciate it and I'm glad you get the point of this piece ... pure relaxation

      Sue
      x

  • Topnotchsy
    September 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of the most beautiful pieces I have read in a long time, and is something I needed right about now, having gotten sick from working too hard (and still having a hard time slowing down.) Beautiful!!

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 17
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for reading and leaving such a nice comment. I'm sorry you've not been well, but I happy that my poem gave you some much needed relaxation and I hope you slow down soon

      Sue
      x

  • joycefour
    September 13

    Edit | Reply
    I could almost smell the grass and feel the coolness of the water. Thanks for the touch of calm in my hectic day

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment, I'm so glad that I could instill a little peace and quiet into your hectic day.

      Sue


  • awannabepoet
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    And here I was sitting by the waters edge just casting my bait and taking in nature and the sound of poetry whispered into the wind.

    What a pretty picture you did paint Sue, I know I am guilty of not coming round to often so for that please forgive me.

    Yet this poem of yours was well worth the read and quite a delight to peruse.

    I like it, I like it so!
    awannabepeot

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment on my poem ... I'm happy that your ears caught my words on the breeze.

      Sue
      x


  • Spirit of the Water
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    "Just close your eyes and let the sound of water clear your mind
    as you sit beneath a willow in the shade;
    and now for this one moment please imagine you are blind
    and let your other senses be waylaid."

    A well-thought out opening to this piece, the rhyming and flow is right on target and your wonderfully weaven words flow harmoniously together, telling the reader exactly what to do. I am wanting more of your words and am curious as to what is next.


    "The sound of water lapping at the river’s grassy banks,
    the chatter of the ducks as they swim by,
    a blackbird in the treetops singing loudly, giving thanks,
    as the breeze among the leaves just breathes a sigh."

    First line: Perfectly worded, I love water, lakes, the sea, ponds, anywhere, and this was beautiful to read, actually to see.

    Second line: This spoke out to me too, I can, by your words, hear the ducks gossiping and telling of their day.

    Third line: I liked how you just didn't say "a bird" but was specific.

    Fourth line: Didn't like "just" here, it just didn't fit. What about this?

    "as the breeze among the leaves heavily breathe a sigh."

    To me it flows smoother but that is just my opinion.



    "Remove your shoes and let your toes be cushioned by the grass,
    it’s coolness helps to calm the heat of day,
    lie back and let the problems of your life just fade and pass
    and let the inner child come out to play."

    First line: I liked how you don't just suggest for the reader to do this, but tell them, not really in a commanding harsh tone but in a comforting one.

    Second line: So true, I feel this way also.

    Third line: Good advice here, nature helps us to do this and many of us need to follow your sage words.

    Fourth line: This line really touched me and others I bet. I do believe, no matter how old you are, that you need to still keep part of your inner child with you, otherwise you will not enjoy and notice the many beauties of life. Briliant job so far.


    "Hear the swish of casting rod as fish espy the bait"
    and minnows swim in jam jars on a string,
    the heron sitting in the tree with patience, he’ll just wait
    as he surveys his river like a King."

    First line: I have never before heard "espy" used before so this was a plesant surprise.

    Second line: "jam jars" didn't really strike me or interest me, just the wording threw me off. Also, maybe you could replace "swim" with a more unique synonym?

    Third line: Loved how you expressed the heron so well and gave him character.

    Fourth line: This made me smile, I never have thought this way about a heron and his river, a creative mind you have my dear, never lose that.


    "Time that you were heading home, the owl let’s out a cry
    his sharp eyes busy searching for his prey;
    the shafts of evening sunlight kiss the ripples as they die
    and night-time wraps itself around the day."

    First line: The wording here is grabbing and saddens you as you realize day is fading.

    Second line: Good descriptions here, nice job.

    Third line: This line was well-constructed I must say, not overly worded but perfectly worded. It took my breath away and was one of my favorite lines in this piece.

    Fourth line: Beautiful ending line. Sometimes the last line fails to satisfy the reader and astonish them, but not this line. I felt content at the end and I cannot express my feelings about this piece, it was that wonderful.

    You have much talent, use it well and never let it fall away into the shadows.

    God bless you, child of God!

    ~MaryAnne

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 11
      Edit | Reply
      This has to be one of the most amazing comments I have ever had and I truly want to thank you for that.
      I am touched by the fact that you read each line so thoroughly and have made suggestions, but for once I will leave this poem exactly as it is, for I feel it is right for me.

      I am very happy that you enjoyed this poem.

      Thanks again

      Sue


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    what a joy to read this, Sue. It is such a soothing piece of poetry, and one I will bookmark.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 11
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for reading and commenting Lane ... it's an honor to have one of my poems bookmarked by you ... thanks

      Love
      Sue


  • Emile
    September 10

    Edit | Reply

    Inspiring

    It paints a picture with words that make you feel them...this is hard to accomplish and you done it so well. I loved your poem and found it refreshing and a happy read. You have a talent and should write as much as you can to exercise your skills to a fine art....you have it in you to be notable. Great work!

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Emile for stopping by to read and comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed it and thanks also for the compliment.

      Sue
      x


  • Eric Marsh
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    do you know...because i am unable to take a long stroll.....i dont really mind because i can read you wonderful work..and the memories and senses come flooding back..and yes sometimes the floodgates open....as you know men do cry...keep well babes...eric

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      I will be honest Eric, I miss going for walks the way I used to, but near here you can park pretty close to the river and once there they even have seats I can sit on, so maybe next time I'll take you with me, (if only in spirit).

      I'm really happy that you liked this one, where else would you like me to take you?

      Sue
      x


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    Loved it, loved it, loved it!
    What a wonderful write!

    I really needed that a headache came upon me.
    my toes are still tingling in refreshment!

    What a lovely write to share with this!
    Natural poetic talent in you!
    WAY TO WRITE

    THankyou for the peaceful respite!
    ears/Seattle

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Ears for spending a while with me beside the river, I'm so happy that it shifted your headache for you.
      A lovely comment and even nicer compliment ... thanks

      Sue


  • csmmoms2
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for letting me take my shoes off and to relax for a while. Weeping willows aren't too bad for the eyes or the soul.
    -c

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      I'm so glad you could join me by the river and sit a spell, it's good to kick your shoes off and relax. Thanks for coming andcommenting, much appreciated.

      Sue
      x


  • laura0757 gold member
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading your poem, you are a very talented writer


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, I appreciate it very much.

      Sue


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    September 9

    Edit | Reply

    Superb Plus +

    You have expressed your thoughts quite well, for 'tis a fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing.

  • King Jeff of Rhyme
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    I had to come and see what a marvellous poem had got you so far up the leader board, great stuff Sue!!!

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Jeff, both for the comment and the encouragement as I owe a large part of my success to you and your guidance

      Sue
      x

  • laiqua aran
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    A poem any elf would be proud to sing, marvellous tranquil poetry!

    L a

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you L a for stopping by and leaving a comment ... who knows, maybe one day I will see you or one of your kind in amongst the trees by the river

      Sue
      x

  • Jade Jefferies
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry AP will not let me give you any clappies

  • Jade Jefferies
    September 9
    Edit | Reply
    You write of nature beautif'ly, and make your readers sigh
    you give us all a taste of rural peace
    Your poetry is tranquil and can teach a heart to fly
    Sweet poet I implore you, never cease!

    J

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Lovely to see you again Jade and to honour me with a verse of your own in a comment is wonderful, thank you very much.
      I hope you're keeping well.

      Sue


  • Aelten
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, this was wonderful- just the break I needed! Great imagery, I could feel, see hear.
    Beautiful!
    A~


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Aelten for your comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed this poem.

      Sue

  • This is so very lovely as always Sue your words are truly captivating as well as beautiful and the pic is perfect!!! I love and admire this piece!!! You are quite a woman and this is amazing!!!

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 10
      Edit | Reply
      Firstly, I love the new picture of you and Josh, all the best to both of you.

      Secondly, thank you for such a warm and lovely comment, I'm so glad you like what you read and this piece could almost have be written for you and Josh sitting with your feet in the water.

      Sue
      x

  • msjuicytech
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, such vivid imagery. Good job

  • Excellent

    Other than the first line which had brought many Chines tortures of the past in Northern India / Kashmir, this was a divine piece, I prefer to be, as you say, "sitting under the willow, sounds of water imitating the embargo of clear minds." Weeping where the willow stood, as the bias between us brought closer together, the umbilical call of natures lure." Wow, you got me at it now.I think I shall book mark this as another inspiration. thank you, much enjoyed. My poetry as if, your as well, takes us away from matters that hae aged us rapidly, yet natures erosion process seems, by the water here, given back a piece of our land. SUBLIME.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.
      I'm not sure whether poetry needs nature or nature needs poetry, but I always find the two go together beautifully.

      Sue
      x


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    September 8

    Edit | Reply

    Boffo Squared!

    Soporific! Hypnotic! Narcotic!
    I've read this over and over again ... too many barbed hooks to count but "..the breeze among the leaves just breathes a sigh" is making itself at home in my ears.
    Great piece, Sue.

    Tom

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 9
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for the lovely comment Tom, I'm so glad you enjoyed this one ... I hope my words are at home in your ears

      Sue
      x


  • trekkergirl
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    congrats on the silver trophy... it is well deserved. Such a lovely relaxing write that you have shown us here. Very nice. I just love the background too. Very nice. I haven't seen on like it before.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 9
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for the congrats and the comment, so glad you enjoyed it. The background was made using Gimp and the texture is called Canvas, if that's any help.

      Sue

  • silverfish
    September 8

    Edit | Reply

    nibble

    wonderfully drowsy, languid writing. whom do i sue for making me feel faint and augering into my computer screen? -espyphish

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 9
      Edit | Reply
      I think you would have to sue Sue for getting you into this state ... my apologies
      I trust you suffered no ill effects, that was not my intention.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Sue
      x

  • Bluemonday silver member
    September 8
    Edit | Reply

    Perfect

    Oh Sue how absolutely wonderful. There is just no other way I can think of describing this beautiful poem...I was sitting there as I have done many times as a fisherman..truly beautiful...thank you...Dan

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 9
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Dan,
      I could see you sitting a little away from the willow, so as not to get your line caught and you certainly looked at peace with the world ... I'm so glad you enjoyed this.

      Sue
      x


  • star girl
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    This was a calming write and it did clear my mind a little. I feel a little bit more relaxed now. And it had a great sense of scenary on it, and it was great. I loved it, keep writing.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment ... I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem.

      Sue


  • in the snow
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    This was the perfect thing to read in the middle of the day. Even at school, im totaly relaxed. Thanks!

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for reading (even while you were at school!) and I hope you weren't too relaxed to continue your studies

      Sue


  • rollingzen
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    'Time that you were heading home'

    as I allowed myself to let go, the last stanza came up to soon....


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed the relaxation

      Sue
      x


  • windsong721
    September 8

    Edit | Reply

    Transcendant!

    This piece reminds me of some of the best post-yoga meditations i lead after a really good class beautifully written, great imagery...Thank you so much for sharing this, it is truly a work of art.
    Windsong

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for leaving such a welcome comment ... I am so glad that you enjoyed this poem and found it relaxing, that was my intention.

      Sue


  • emily inker
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem......
    thanks for the inspiration x


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for clicking and leaving a comment ... I'm glad you enjoyed the read.

      Sue


  • lynda
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    what a lovey way to start the day..with a gentle and serene poem...want to go there...thanks for the inspiration


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for reading and leaving a comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.

      Sue


  • jimek
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Good

    I like it.Reminds me of one I wrote Come Go With Me.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed the read ... I shall return the favour.

      Sue
      x

      P.S. I love the twins, they're adorable


  • arafura gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the silver. A wonderful serene picture you paint!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks John, I'm glad you enjoyed the day by the river.

      Suzie Q
      x

  • abu nuwas
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Sue...

    ...sue well-written! It avoided something I have now tired of -- a few, meaningul words. It went all-out for a description of nature, within the time-frame of a day, and the relaxation one can get. I have to say there are no such places hereabouts, but they exist, and that is the thing. Such a nice ambience.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. I'm sorry you have no such place near to you. I live in Kent neat the River Medway and although the picture isn't where I go, it is very similar and it is one of the most relaxing places I know ... but usually I sit in my back garden and enjoy what I have.

      Sue
      x

      • abu nuwas
        September 8
        Edit | Reply

        Sue

        Lucky you! I love what I call 'real Kent' - those out of the way places, like Wormshill where I have family, the Marsh and the little railway to Lydd, Appledore, and the Wealden Way. But generally now I get my country fix in 'Silly Suffolk'. Oh yes, and there is the garden...!



        Edward

        • Sue Cardwell gold member
          September 8
          Edit | Reply
          Funnily enough I'm off to Tonbridge tomorrow to shop and feed the ducks and just have a day out ... don't get out much these days, but the weather should be good so I'll make the most of it ... I hope you do too

          Sue
          x

          • abu nuwas
            September 8
            Edit | Reply

            I hope you enjoy your day....

            ..and so shall I, be it last of Summer, or first of Autumn!


            e

  • tessa poetry
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    I loved the imagery of this poem, so strong

    good job and I hope you win the picture is pretty too.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, I appreciate it ... Sue

  • Eric Marsh
    September 7
    Edit | Reply
    mm you see now, don't you sue? that the last bag of grass was good gear....haha nice one babes...keep chillin..groovin, writing and cool...ps love the backgound, so apt for the lovely poem


    • deercatcher
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Hallo, Eric! Nice to see you again. This was suck a lovely write, really...
      Of course if it was in my neck of the woods the third line of the third stanza would have to read, "Don't sit down, or you'll have chiggers up your..."
      (Best to you-Sue!)


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Eric, I'm really happy you liked this ... grass or no grass

      Sue
      x


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    I could almost hear this write! Just lovely.. definitely filled me with a feeling of happiness reading it.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Many thanks Jackie, I'm so glad that you were able to experience this write and that it relaxed you as well.
      I hope all is well with you.

      Sue


  • Pattiboo silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I often do that, close my eyes and just listen to the sounds around me. It flows smoothly and I can visualize the scenes you so poetically describe.
    good luck in the contest

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Many thanks Pat, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I often use other senses to express my feelings, I find it heightens the experience and adds new dimensions.

      Sue


  • UncleDunk gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    When I reached the lines ,

    "Hear the swish of casting rod as fish espy the bait
    and minnows swim in jam jars on a string,"

    I was already picturing myself out on a boat fishing, like it was the most natural thing, even though I haven't been fishing in 25 years. Thank you for taking me back to the river.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Hey, I'm glad I put you back on the boat with a rod and line ... that's what the poem was all about ... relaxation

      Many thanks for the comment.

      Sue
      x

  • Jade Jefferies
    September 6
    Edit | Reply
    Such beautiful poetry, I have been away too long

    Jade


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Many thanks Jade, it's great to see you back and reading my work, I'm so happy you liked this one.

      Sue


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Sue, this is superb....I could read this over and over again and will. Your words flow like honey, what a clever girl ....
    OK Sue I've read it 4 times now and I'm green that you can write so well...a winner if ever I read one.
    Love Lu x

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Many thanks Lu, I'm so glad you liked this ... the river is the Medway and I could spend hours there on the bank.

      Love
      Sue


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    I love to let my sense feel the world that's slipping by
    I listen to the voices of the breeze
    The greatest way to see things isn't captured by the eye
    But dreaming underneath the willow trees

    You write in words of beauty and I know you understand
    That images aren't all there is to see
    A poet is person who can keep existence canned
    By capturing it all you set it free




  • Amera gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and a joy to recite aloud. I see you have mastered the art of writing in extralongameter and this will make Jeff smile.

    Love,
    Amera♥

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Many thanks Amera for the comment, I'm so glad you loved the poem and yes, I love writing in extralongameter.

      Love
      Sue

  • Bob Fox
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Sue

    Just beautiful. Makes the reader wish to be there. And oh may it be. Excellent dear poet.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      It looks as though the river bank is going to be a bit crowded today aseveryone wants to be there ... relaxation is definitely an art

      Sue
      x


  • Rick Weston silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    a beautiful scene you paint here. would love to spend today as you suggest in your opening lines. very well done.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you rick for reading and leaving a comment, I appreciate both. I'm glad my words made you want to skip work today and relax ... that was the intention

      Sue
      x


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    what a lovely piece of serene water front, love the picture you posted in words, lovely and relaxing to read, thank you for this entry
    Linda

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Linda, both for the comment and the trophy in your contest ... I used to be called a water baby ... the only thing that has changed is I'm quite happy just to sit by it rather than go in

      Sue


  • Legend silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    This sounded much like a day of my youth.All that was missing was cloud watching.
    Excellent a real joy to have sat by the river with you

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Richard, a day by the river would be fun ... we could read poetry ... but sitting in the shade means that cloud watching would be out ... unless we moved

      Glad you enjoyed.

      Sue
      x


  • Cup-a-Joe
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    This sure makes me wanna grab a pole and hit the lake. Isin't it funny how running water relaxes us?
    Super nice.

    Joe

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Joe, I'm glad my words put you on the lake if only for a few seconds ... relaxation is what it's all about.

      Sue
      x


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    One butty, one flask, a pole and line.

    No fone, no laptop

    Bliss!!!

    Nice one Sis


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful, i felt a feeling of pure relax come over me, best of luck in the contest

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, I'm glad that it had the desired effect on you and relaxed you ... that's what it's all about

      Sue
      x

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