The fish in the fishbowl and the bird in the cage
Imprisonment of the untamed, the irony of her room
I imagined it thousands of times, the wilderness:
The siren sliding over you like gasoline at the shoreline
You refuse to invent them in the sea or the air:
The million mythologies of her wings and mermaid legs
An animal-jawed goddess, but she is like any woman
With mint cars rowing past her window in evenings
You stylize or copy once you have seen
Her entombed in the moon-morphing kaleidoscope
A belly-dancer tangled amongst the stained-glass
Her face as the lover of a thousand different sonnets
Their small, agile bodies with your honest eyes
Become centaur-like: the hypnotizing half-beast
But she could never canvass you as the immortal:
The enthroned-god bending constellations over her
Author notes
The fish in the fishbowl and the bird in the cage.
You refuse to invent them in the sea or the air.
You stylize or copy once you have seen
their small, agile bodies with your honest eyes.
-Ode to Salvador Dali
Federico Garcia Lorca
Kind of inspired by the film Little Ashes (which is about the affair/obsession between these two gents.)
A contest entry
- Come Glosa (using Federico Garcia Lorca's Ode to Salvador Dali) by ea.
400 points, ended September 9, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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There are some really good lines to this write... "The siren sliding over you like gasoline at the shoreline" That. Is wonderful... Good flow, and choice of language throughout. The only bit that removed me from the moment is "Mint cars rowing past her window." But only because It put the wretched Cure song in my head.... Well done!
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mmmm ....."The siren sliding over you like gasoline at the shoreline"
this is poetry, and your words are delicious.
I like all the mythical imagery you used, I'm not used to seeing that so much from you, but then when I saw it had to do with Dali I loved it twice as much.
When I need something good to read you never disappoint. -
This is the first time I've felt alive in some time, my.. well, it's been so long I'm not sure I can call you my friend. O_~
I do love you though. xD
This is beautiful. Ethereal. Awe- redefined.
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I FUCKING MISS YOU!!!
so much I reread all of your stories and some of poetry.
stay awhile won't ya?
loveloveloveLOVE -
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XD
That's awesome.
I miss you too.
I love you very muchhhhhh.
I'm a bit sporatic right now.
I want to come back foreversss.
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This is absolutely stunning I loved every word of it Oh my you nearly got me cry, I love the approach you made more about the background personal feelings in Dali's
life. A very brilliant write indeed.
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I agree about the gasoline on the shoreline line and I was completely swept away by this poem the first time I read it - it gave me such a feeling about Magdelena's role. "she is like any woman" except she now has "mint cars rowing past her window" - could you be more amazing in portraying the rare life of the muse and not the canvasser of the immortal (such as Dali and Lorca were, bending constellations over her - in Dali's case, Gala.) Stunning work and the most coherent in its riveting images and message, for me.
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thank you very much for the comment and the gold! I'm glad that it was able to touch you in such a way :]]]
♥
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Yeah, I feel like a dick, so I think a poetry binge is in order
Prepare to be COMMENTED!
One of the best things here is it's not
"Here's a line that isn't mine
AND HERE'S WHAT I DO."
It's a full package and what you've taken from it is incredible. But still, when I read "Gasoline at the shoreline" I just thought: "There's my girl!"
that is so...you, it's your signature style type of thing, and you have such a groove in that.
I know I say this all the time, but I see this between two sheets of card and people pouring over it analysing it and talking about you in essays. I'm not kidding to any extent of the imagination.
There was so much to this in imagery, I loved the richness, it was full of jewels and colours and myths.
I loved the idea of what you took from the animals in their restraints, it said to me something about sexuality, you know, girls liking boys and boys liking girls.
To me, there was a wrongness in the siren and the person who was being talked about it, because of what you said about the gasoline. I've never seen little ahses, so I wasn't sure whether it was the person feeling wrong for liking another man, or he was upset at the fact a woman was with him.
My "thing" at the moment is mythology and mysticism, and this seemed to be full of it, but it wasn't dreamy, it was a bit harsher than that, but it didn't take away from the beauty of it. As usual I hope I haven't caught the wrong end of the stick!
:] I'm going to get back into the swing of poetry, mark my words. I'm going to go down your list and do a few, if there are any you want me to specifically comment on, just say, and I'll dash over
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