betrayal is too commonplace
we close our eyes
to avoid its sneering face,
though we know it’s
lurking there
if we could only learn to love
and still not care
to lose ourselves
keeping a hand on the map
sweet breezes through the windows
with the door armored tight,
wouldn’t we all sleep better at night,
weak in the knees and standing strong
oh, to have it both ways…
Author notes
Prompt by contest host:
"he always did lie better
with my legs wrapped waist high
trouble is
I still believe"
A contest entry
- All aboard the quickie train! toot toot by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended September 6, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wonderful balance of tension "sweet breezes" but the "door amored tight"
Excellent!!
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Gosh this was very well written. I missed reading your work and fortunately it just keeps improving over time. You have some wonderful lines here although the entire write is good.
AsIThink...
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Beautifully presented dichotomy! Outstanding examples of choices and their resultant prices.
We cannot love without caring, yet immunity from the pain that attends a commited heart may look attractive when one is grief-stricken. Succinct conclusion.
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It is far easier to constantly pick at the scabs of our wounds than to let them heal and ignore the scars. In the end we probably suffer more. I think one of the most misunderstood and seldom practiced phrases in the Bible is "Turn the other cheek". It is wonderful to read your writing again because you are so insightful. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Thanks, Liz, for your kind and wise words.
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"too commonlace" indeed. It seems human nature to want things both ways ... like balancing on a tightwire. A betrayer tries to avoid responsibility ... while the betrayed tries to avoid painful realities. It's hard to try to have it both ways, and live in truth at the same time. Such is life!
You have penned a great, thought-provoking piece. Good luck in the contest!
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awesome
totally agree with every word penned! and yeah , wouldn't it be nice for real! very good write lady
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A mild piece...
sensitive with emotion. A good piece poet.
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Thanks Macsword!
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This is a good piece, it has a pretty good flow of rhyme, good job. best to you in the contest
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Thanks for the comment and contest!
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