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Two Trees.

two trees
pass to each other
the sunrise







Andrew Hide
03~04~2004

Author notes

Two tall trees are being blow in the strong Atlantic winds, with the sun rise between, the trees appeared to be handing the sun to each other.
Written April 3rd, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Sai Babas Lotus
    January 9, 2005
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    Outstanding write!

    Wow and lots of Aha!!! So much said in just 8 words! I really like this one. This is such a beautifully captured Zen moment! The image is very clear and one can really see the light of the glowing yellow orb being passed from one tall tree to the other. The way I first saw it was the golden sun shining between two trees. Again, a very cute nature image there. I like the colour effect that meets the eye here - the yellow shining sun and the dark green trees. This light-hearted and striking 'ku will stay in the mind for a long long time. I like the background picture too!

    Best Wishes always,
    -Charishma

  • Pari Ali
    July 20, 2004
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    wow this one is very beautiful. Love the image your words evoke. like a graceful act of sharing. superb!

  • pozo
    June 19, 2004
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    Lovely poem- expressed beautifully and also a beautiful image. I love the background as well


  • Goldmare
    April 9, 2004
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    Haiku is cool! :D

    I think this is beautiful. I am glad for your explanation, though, as I really didn't get exactly what you meant at first. Still, it was really cool wording, I thought it was really neat. Very unique...Now I am starting to wish I held a haiku contest instead of the one I did put on...well, too late, I'll have to try it some other time.

    ~Goldmare~
    May the Horse be with you


  • Menohir
    April 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, the explanation was not necassary though. Without the explanation it came across that the trees was so situated that as the sun rised (came across) it touched the one tree on to the next tree...but thats what another thing of haiku that make them so universal, my imagination wasn't able to see past it but other people will see it as you thought it or maybe see something totally different. But still it's brilliant, and i did enjoy your explanantion, it was nice reading your work for a change. I'm sorry that I can't give you any constructive critiques on haiku, but giving my thoughts on all your haiku was the best I could do.

    Give me another view sometime, that comment of yours the other day meant a lot, thank you
    Take care
    Menohir

  • Seether
    April 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is a gift. to capture so much with so little and then to share the simplicity of it all.

    you have such wonderful vision Sir Hide


  • Lurie
    April 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    sun~beams
    glisten through
    turn green leaves gold. ~Laura

    Lovely Andrew!!!!!


  • Cemetery Rose
    April 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    haiku-riffic!

    If I were haikumonk I'd give you an A. Awesome imagery! Very brilliant! Thanks for entering!
    Peace and love
    Susan


  • Ava Noire silver member
    April 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Very clever, and nifty way of describing such a scene. How brilliant these lil shorties are

    You have a talent for these


  • Lonely
    April 4, 2004
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    very good

    Good haiku Andrew, I liked the unique idea, and loved the way your style! keep writing!

    Love,
    Lonely~

  • Peacedreamer
    April 4, 2004
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    A lovely image and immediately for me the picture of two trees and the sunrising between them - good luck with the comp.


  • SusanL
    April 3, 2004
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    You know when I read this I was thinking of one tree being taller than the other and as the sun climbed the sky it moved from the wmaller to the taller, soon to be set free. But I like yours as well. I guess that is what is so great about Haiku is that the picture takes on the elements of the readers reality as well as the writers... Thanks for sharing, Susan


  • Kitesen
    April 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    That's an interesting image but without the explanation it would certainly have taken another sunrise before the coin would have dropped.
    So a kind of tennis hmm... interesting. I believe it is just in the moment to think of such.

1 - 13 of 13