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Walk Away

Missing image

Walk Away
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Beauty does not an angel make
Now left to rot for her mistake
A graveyard plot a simple wake
Her soul to take, her soul to take

She’s laid to rest beneath a mound
Unwelcomed guest in hallowed ground
Upon her chest dark sins abound
There is no sound, there is no sound

Now turned away from heaven’s gate
No need to pray for it’s too late
To her dismay … there’s no debate
A sinner’s fate, a sinner’s fate

O dead and gone no need to weep
A broken pawn her soul to keep
Beneath the lawn she’s buried deep
O let her sleep, O let her sleep

 

 

 

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Author notes

Monotetra:
The monotetra is a poetic form developed by Michael Walker. Each stanza contains four lines in monorhyme. Each line is in tetrameter (four metrical feet) for a total of eight syllables. What makes the monotetra so powerful as a poetic form is that the last line contains two metrical feet, repeated. It can have as few as one or two stanzas, or as many as desired. (The internal rhyme is my addition to the form)

Stanza Structure:

Line 1: 8 syllables; A1
Line 2: 8 syllables; A2
Line 3: 8 syllables; A3
Line 4: 4 syllables, repeated; A4, A4

Art Work; beautiful death, by: wcommitted

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Comments

1 - 99 of 99

  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    A moving monotetra....I love the repeat at the end of each stanza....You have captured the picture so well with your portrayal of it in rhyme! a.
    Congratulations on the Gold, hon!

  • Purrsanthema
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    How you can so beautifully conquer so many forms so effortlessly is nothing short of miraculous to me! You see and perceive with extraordinary clarity how to utilize their greatest strengths and then with your endless inspiration just create jewels of expressive loveliness!


  • Haygood gold member
    September 16

    Edit | Reply

    I hear Vincent Price...

    reading this. The repeat fourth line adds to the spookiness of it. This is a teriffic form. As you have shown here, it can make an impact on the poem. I bow to the "Teacher" once again. Since I don't have an apple...will a rose do?
    I was captivated by the third stanza:
    Now turned away from heaven’s gate
    No need to pray for it’s too late
    To her dismay … there’s no debate
    A sinner’s fate, a sinner’s fate
    This is the knock-out punch to the piece. No beer party or arguing,
    only judgement, swift, final and just! Wow. Brilliant.


    • Amera gold member
      September 16
      Edit | Reply
      I'm so proud of you that you got the silver trophy. I told you that you have the heart of a poet.


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 16

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Amera, I can never get enough of your writing. It always astounds me. You have such talent....such beauty. Thanks for following through on your committment with this contest series. I appreciate it, and I've enjoyed your work!

    • Amera gold member
      September 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the trophy. I got a trophy in all of your creepy contests. Does that mean I’m the creepiest poet you know?


  • annother gold member
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    Great write. I love the form, it gives this write almost a nursery rhyme feel. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

    Ann

  • catstar
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I had never heard of a monotetra before reading this. Then I read the poem and was captivated by the rhythm and could not work out why until I read your author's notes. Now i think the style of absolutely amazing. I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for introducing me to a form of poetry I'd never heard of.


  • Griswold gold member
    September 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully done, the flow as always was impeccable and content outstanding. An excellent job all around, best of luck to you in the contest... Scott

  • CalistaMoon
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    this captivated me from the start. absolutely fascinating. I loved every minute that I read it...I may go read it again now.


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    creepy and perfect...now, i will turn the light on


  • PerVirtuous
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is a perfect form for you, a perfect subject for this form, and a perfect poem. You understand how to use the repeat perfectly. I love the subtle variation in meter. It adds to the depth of the dark feeling. This is a classic example of you at your best. I can see why it is the most popular for the week.

  • Ashlynn Night
    September 9
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    Its wonderful poem I love it


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is very creepy sis and very sad but this is very well written and portrayed as always you did an outstanding job!!!!! I love it!!!


  • second-born
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    'O let her sleep, O let her sleep' wow...such a fantastic piece...very dark but not overly done...and your chosen words and verses solidify the powerful effect of the given form...true to your nature...you are indeed the Queen of Forms...have a nice a day!!!


  • TheTiffosaurusRex
    September 8
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful dark and sad. It really spoke to me


  • mitchybaby
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this style of poetry. It flows so amazingly well. What a great write, very beautiful. The exact type of poetry I enjoy reading. Thanks for sharing!

  • trekkergirls bank
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    First off good luck in the contest. Second that is one scary picture. Next thanks for explaining your form to me. I do appreciate it. I am not very good at forms yet and each one explained to me helps me to become more familiar with them.

    Now onto the write itself. I think it to be a very powerful and intense write. I like the rhythm in it. And it doesn't seem forced to me at all. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  • mallaw
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    The sound of Monotetra is pretty cool. Now don't be upset but I hope you are also the artist that created the picture because I am over-impressed by that effect!! The red of the rose on a black and white coupled with the blood trickles from the mouth and each eye. . . overwhelming!


  • in the snow
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of sad things, but so beautifully that i dont mind thinking them. Thank you so much.

  • Topnotchsy
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning write. Love the form, I think this is the first time I've come across it and the repetition in the final line (especially with your way with words) is very powerful.

  • silverfish
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for raising my poetry quotient. the form follows function, enhances the reading experience. -silverfish


  • Dreamer87
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    Hey this is a very well written poem. I haven't been on AP in a few years and if this is what I've been missing from people then I can't wait to start reading more again


  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad write. I do like the repetition in the last line, it adds to the poem nicely. I love this, wonderful job!


  • darlee77 gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    A sad and mourning write. I like the repitition of the last line in each verse. Gives it character. God bless.


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    I love this form when the final repetition is done with thought and not just tacked onto the end for form's sake. Your grasp of form and meter is second to none, and the eerie quality of this poem has a Poe-like feel. The tiny nit that I would pick is with the contraction in the third stanza. It goes against the formality of the rest of the poem. Perhaps, "no need to pray, it is too late". Good luck in this contest. I enjoyed reading this poem. Peace, Liz


  • Desire gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful~

    This is one form You Inspire me to try and I Love how You took the prompt and
    added condiments to spice it up~ Give it the *necessary* flavor
    Flows from one line to the next...
    desired to read it several more times...
    Message grabs and so does the Images~
    Bravo!! The picture...Wow~
    You fed me well...
    Keep that quill dancing

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent
    Best wishes in the contest
    with love & light~ Desire~*~

  • tessa poetry
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    I love this type of poem. the rhyming is so well done

    great dark poem. thanks for writing it. I really enjoyed it. good job.


  • KissLoveCutPainDie
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    wow love it
    its my first time reading this kind form of poetry but its cool and interesting. the poem itself is wonderful. it caught and kept my attention from beginning to end and it made me eager to read on.

    very great write keep it up
    JUST WONDERFUL


  • lianonsidhe silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    How crushingly sad! So beautifully crafted as to touch the soul. The imagery is exquisite as always dear friend.
    Lianonsihe


  • tarantulla81
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    wow that was brilliant
    so very dark and playful, at the same time. i really like this style you got here.
    bravo to a job well done


  • donker-en-licht
    September 7
    Edit | Reply
    that is awesomely dark. the whole thing is genius. keep writing.


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is so creepy and dark but I think the most creepy is to think of the loniness this pour soul had to suffer all because of some mistake she made. It could have been any other person. This left me to think and opened my eyes to many questions.

    I always enjoy your poetry my friend. Very well done!

    Becks


  • Cherry.Cyanide gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    this was spectacular. Incredibly eerie. Couldn't really find a favourite part because it was all pretty amazing.
    Good luck in the contest, though it looks as though you have it nailed

    xx


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful, i truely enjoyed the read, best of luck in the contest


  • sultan gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Eerie ...

    ... with a fascinating form; although, the idea of this sort of rejection for a mistake is a hard pill to swallow (smile). It looks like you’ll be doing fine in this contest. Warm regards, Sultan


  • semisane
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    In reading that, I couldn't help but hear that spooky little girl voice singing it.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful...

    I believe I may have read this poem before, but I had to drop in for another peek at your muse's artistry. Impressive work with the monotetra, perfectly showcasing the darkness of the subject matter. I'm wishing you the best in the contest!!
    Peace & hugs,
    xx Cyn xx


  • crivanea silver member
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    writing as good as this should be banned...because it gets too many poets jealous love this! and i learn a new form! sigh....school doesn't start for another 2 week..and i'm already learning ...creepy picture...depressing poem...but oh so poetically written


  • Zohrane
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Heartbreaking and stunning. Beautiful and soul crushing. I absolutely loved it. Your form is fantastic. Your imagery stunning. Your rhythym perfect. Bravo!


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    :: eyes open wide ::
    WOW. That was amazing. I loved the rhyme in this, it lent to the darkness of this, and the repetition of the last lines of each stanza was brilliant. I loved this.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • BurningAries
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    I rather enjoyed this peace! i love the way it is presented, and the format you wrote in, but even more so i love the wording. I especially enjoyed the last stanza, it just had such finality and.....well it was simply wonderful! I think im going to go reads some more of your work

    take care


  • laura0757 gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    although this poem, had some heavy feelings for me, I really liked it, and I was interested, in that first line I quote.beauty does not an angel make, I read it at least three times and I really loved the way you put your first sentence together, great job.........

  • Jade Jefferies
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Beauty doesn't make an angel you say, but you make beautiful poetry

    Great work from a beautiful young lady!

    Jade

  • laiqua aran
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Dark magic from the elven Queen

    Nae saian luume'

  • Just a poet gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Darkly intricate, beautifully written in perfect form, I love it

    JaP


  • Never Fall in Love
    September 6
    Edit | Reply


  • awannabepoet
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    So many unique forms of poetry to be sought when all I have to do is come looking for you Amera and there it is another brilliant piece.

    What can I say when there is nothing really to say but Bravo! Bravo!

    Amera your star shines brightly a beacon for poetry done right.


  • char-char
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Oh my gawd!

    Monotetra?
    I'm going to have to try this.
    The repeating last lines for every stanza makes this poem strong!

    keep up the good work

    XoXo,
    Char-Char


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    this is so beautifully written, i am always amazed at
    the form and quality of your writes, each time i come to
    visit, you seem to blow me right out of the sky,
    i really liked the darkness coming from this write
    and your ryhme is flawless!!

    Que Bella

    Rend


    • Amera gold member
      September 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, a complement from you is a complement indeed

  • Haygood gold member
    September 6
    Edit | Reply

    I think the repeated lines...

    are a powerful tool. They set a mood for the poem and the repeats are like driving nails. I haven't seen this form but I must try it. Of course the poem is great and right on with the picture. Good luck in the final round of the contest. May the best poem win!


  • Andre ben-YEHU
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Bountiful~Unique...




    It requires a mathematical musical logical mind to cerebrate a composition on this form.

    Monotetra is a challenging form that develops brain power. I must take this opportunity to send my gratitude to the creator and developer of Monotetra Form, Master Linguist Michael Walker.

    Very impressive subject dealt in "Walk Away"; well developed, and written to perfection. Rich rhythmic lexis, brilliant imagery and flow. A poetic majestic treasure.

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

    • Amera gold member
      September 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comments. Actually the Monotetra isn’t that difficult to compose. I added the internal rhyme in an attempt to increase the eeriness and that makes it seem difficult.


  • penman gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Oh my the picture itself is powerful. You gave it such amazing energy. Sinner's fate, so cursed, so poetically expressed. best of luck in the contest


  • evershine-90
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this sure is a dark and painful piece. like the way it plays with the imagination with the repeats. great work!


  • StarEyes
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!! What a grfeat job you did on this one! I love it! You are such a powerful writer with form! Wow! You always amaze me! Great job!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Another subtle form, wonderfully done as always. This is quite amazing, as I said above. It just reads so easily and is so complicatedly uncomplicated, if that makes sense (it does to me - haha). Morbidly dark but bright and beautiful as well. You've done it again - great job.


    Paul


  • Rick Weston silver member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    wonderfully done in form and language. i love it.

    excellent writing.


  • Hillz0rz
    September 6
    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding.


  • Minam
    September 6
    Edit | Reply
    woooooow. speechless.


  • Emile
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    You did a wonderful job here. I read it several times and it came alive for me. Your feelings come through strong and straight from the heart where most good poetry is born. It paints a picture with words that make you feel them...this is hard to accomplish and you done it well.


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    September 6
    Edit | Reply
    Simply exquisite...a wonderful poem Amera.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Back for seconds, like a wonderful cake.

    Joe


  • masterblaster gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Hi, once again you take my breath away, a lovely poem, Di


  • tresmemphis gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice piece...so dark and gloomy it is...I like the format and it had a nice flow. Good job here.


  • Summer52
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Speechless, I am truly.

    You are my inspiration , even though I never visited you more often...but once I read your poems, I'm in real wonder of your ingenuity.
    Thumbs up !

    Good luck, my firend !


  • Pure Thought silver member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply

    good luck

    Darkness in a form that emphasizes it nicely.
    Well done!
    Buddy


  • ScottishPrincess silver member
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this...Beautiful...Hazel


  • Aelten
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely loved this! The form lends nicely to the dark and ghostly feel to this poem. I love the repeating lines... powerful.
    A~

  • monkey3243
    September 5

    Edit | Reply

    i loved it

    wow! really good job


  • trekkergirl
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow if this doesn't win I don't know why... because this is one excellent write! I have never heard of this form so I wanted to sy thank you for telling us about it.

    This is truly an excellent write. Flow and rthym is dead on...

    Picture goes extremely well with the poem too. Good choice here. It adds much to it.

    Wow! This is the best poem I have read so far today.

    I would give more than 3 clappies if i could!

    Definitely keep up this kind of writing! You are very good!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Haunting and beautiful. Perfect form for the beautiful dark


  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    What a wicked take on the prompt
    I found that ryming in the dark genre can be very difficult
    however, your Monotetra chain packs
    a hell-of-a-punch

    I love you walk upon the the dark side
    What can I say hon, you rock
    Bravo

    Wish you the very best in the contest
    Keep your masterful quill dancing
    Much love my friend

    David


  • Delta
    September 5
    Edit | Reply

    Most eXcellent


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    This form can pack a punch. I like what you have done here, keeping it tight and simple, Sis.




  • Legend silver member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Dear dancing Lady I think i will get me a rubber stamp with just one word on it EXCELLENT and use it every time i read one of your pieces


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, this is spectacular Amera; it sets such an eerie mood for the picture.

    All the best,

    Love, mj.


  • Denerica
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...intrigueing, sad, it was creepy, could do without looking at the pic, but those words are exactly what it represents. Excellent. Blessings.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent. Great form and very dark, although not a lover of repetition, in this it all adds to the overall effect.

    All the best in the contest.

    Love
    Sue
    x

    • Amera gold member
      September 5
      Edit | Reply
      I’ve seen you write Kyrielle Sonnets so that leads me to believe there is something else you don’t care for. I didn’t mean to offend anyone by writing this anti prayer type poem. It was for the contest prompt. Please accept my work for the poetic impact and not an actual message.

      • Sue Cardwell gold member
        September 5
        Edit | Reply
        Ok, I know that I'm odd, and I do write Kyrielle sonnets, but this poem works for me, don't ask me to explain it, I don't know why and poetically it is perfect as is all your work,
        I hope I haven't upset you.

        Love
        Sue

  • Cup-a-Joe
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    This is very dark and morbid, so very sad.
    I absolutely love it.
    You could write a poem on peanuts and make it into a work of art.
    You are AP'S jewel.

    Joe


  • Faeryn
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow!! So dark and creepy and the repetition at the end of each stanza emphasized the creepy-ness.
    Love,
    Tay


  • Ken-Maverick
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Quite a dark write you've penned here dude,
    wonderfully done as always.
    All the best

    Ken


  • JinSays gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow..that was creepy.
    and really beautiful too>is there such a combination?
    sigh, best wishes to you in this final round.
    love,
    jin


  • DesolatELifE
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    Perfect form for the poem. At first, I didn't like the last line of the verse business, but, by the end, I felt it adding a sinister effect to the words,whichwas just lovely.


    • Amera gold member
      September 5
      Edit | Reply
      Monotetras are fun I think you should try one


      • DesolatELifE
        September 5

        Edit | Reply
        I expect I will, once my poetic nature decides to show up again =)


  • myrataal silver member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Reading you, is like a poetic holiday: I can just sit back and relax with a book of perfect poetry! Thank you so much for being here.

    Love
    Myra

    • Amera gold member
      September 5
      Edit | Reply
      Myra, you already know that I think you are one of the best poets I have ever read and to see your signature on one of my poems is such an honor. Thank you


  • Swangrnv gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply

    HOLY SMOKES!

    This burns! right into the soul, with a depth, it's very dark and sad..yet penned with such beauty..another form, MASTERFULLY perform by the QUEEN OF FORM..bravo lady, bravo lady..


    • Amera gold member
      September 5
      Edit | Reply
      ahh! Right there; first comment. What a guy!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Dark forms and repetitions, made haunting by Amera's hand.

    Great and creepy writing

    I know what I have to beat now

    Jeff


    • Amera gold member
      September 5
      Edit | Reply
      No you don't, we're alowed two poems. I'm working on the good one.

1 - 99 of 99