Ethereal and worn thin, maybe
just a shadow on your here-and-now:
do you believe in ghosts?
But you're the one who's
corpse-cold with
empty eyes and words and a nothing-life,
hollow and frostbitten-numb.
I just wish you could have let
sleeping cats lie,
and never lit the fire
that burned both bridges and my hands.
But who knows? Perhaps
this was the inferno that purified,
clearing out the dead wood and
cracking pine cones to reseed the forest.
Dear boy who was always too glib:
this is my lipstick-note goodbye,
my dear-john letter--
smeared and a few syllables late--
but all the same:
regretfully no-longer-yours,
the one that got away.
Author notes
for zac
Comments
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This is very deep and stark, you have created the despair with some very gripping images. The allegory of the inferno is very meaningful, as the forest is destroyed, as is what was there before destruction came along.
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Wow, I really like this. I can see why you chose the plain black background and white font color, just lets it be stark and dark. I love your imagery here, the second stanza is absolutely brilliant, love the "corpse-cold" paired with the "ghost" and all the other death imagery, used to signify the death of love and the end of the relationship. The only bit I don't like is the "sleeping cats" because I don't see how cats fit in or factor in the poem, and don't get the symbolism there- it sounde like you wanted to be original and not say dogs, so you stuck cats in there. I would add some more references to catlike features or edit that out altogether.
Overall, a great piece. -
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It is true that it was a twist on "dog." But there's more to it. It's a personal reference that I realize no one will get, but it belongs right where it is. If that mars the piece a little, so be it.
Thank you for taking the time to read and give an honest opinion.
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