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going, going, gone

because everything I do is wrong
tears fall
they shatter on the floor
I stand up
fling open door
my footprints
marking the mud
i'm going
going
gone.

A contest entry

what did ya think? please be harsh. I want to make this better. :]

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • angel14
    September 21
    Edit | Reply
    i love it !
    short and simple yet so true and touching
    thank u for sharing


  • sweet arrival gold member
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    it's those times that we feel we are doing everything wrong that we need a friend to tell us what beauty we have in ourselves. a very real poem that we all have been through. thank you for sharing


  • marebyte
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    I just did exactly that two months ago. All I left behind was a tear on the floor. I hope he slipped on it. Greeeeeaaaat little diddy. Love it