There is no remedy for love, or so
it has been said. Could it be you for whom
I long, yet find myself instead alone?
I've tried to hold my feelings back, to wait
until you yield to pleadings that slip out.
Though every now and then I find I must
confess how much I long to share your life.
But must I hold? What if I were to free
my heart and soul and give them full their reins?
Might I accomplish more than pain that sits
in lone dark corners, crying? That’s the truth.
Or so again I have been told, by none
less than the great Thoreau himself. Could it
be true? What have I found out for myself?
I know that energy must flow to keep
the lifeforce going. Growing. Open wide
to let my love expand outside and risk
to have it not returned. And still I yearn.
When taking off the bindings and if then
I give my love its head, I find somehow
that something shifts; though I don't know if this
lost love of mine grows happier instead.
How could this be a remedy for love?
Author notes
Prompt: "There is no remedy for love but to love more". ~Henry David Thoreau
blank verse: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blank_verse (non-rhyming, metered, often iambic pentameter
04 September 2009
In a list
A contest entry
- The Blue Lamp Post Presents "Blank Verse" by The Blue Lamp Post.
1750 points, ended September 21, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thank you for reading. Critical commentary welcome and appreciated.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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nice
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thanks!
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Lovely blank verse and yes, line 3 does seem to have a typo.
You have broken your lines well to stay within the meter and post that age old question - Remedy for love? Does one need a remedy for love? I guess there are times when one might.
I love where you took the contest prompt. Well done. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Thanks.
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I like the questioning here! The flow of thought takes the reader easily through the poem, pausing for each question, and reflecting themselves before moving on. I love the final line!
One small glitch - third line, I think you don't need 'in' before 'instead' - it puts the syllable count out - I'm sure it was a typo.
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Thanks.
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I love how your thoughts just flow through the lines and the change up between 4 and 3 lines.
"Open wide
to let my love expand outside and risk
to have it not returned. And still I yearn." That just really hits deep for me, I can so relate...
Lovely piece, sweetie
Kris
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Thanks! I was going to try for a sonnet format, or at least same stanza lengths. With the blank verse, however (my first time), that was enough of a challenge for me today! I decided to let it come out how it would. I noticed I kept wanting to rhyme every 14th syllable--I like extralongometer--so I got some embedded rhymes in anyway, in cross line form.
Breakin' the rules again! Hehehe
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