the last breath of Sunday
as your finger ticked
to midnight
In a list
A contest entry
- Prompt Inspired by Naridill.
480 points, ended September 21, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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i like silver when gold has your name on it.
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Either way the poems get a hallmark.
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Flawless, with so much in so few words ..
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Thank you.
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I am literally speechless here.
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That's kinda an advantage in zen. Thank you.
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what is Zen poetry, Mairi? Is it like Haiku? This is so simple, clean, yet it is not. I don't know quite what to make of it, but I like it. Please tell me about it...
L
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I had it put to me (yesterday) that haiku is not poetry at all. We call it poetry simply because it is an arrangement of words. To me the words zen and haiku are interchangeable; although it is perfectly possible to say that zen involves much more than haiku, haiku is a manifestation of zen which, in its moment contains and demonstrates all that it is necessary to know about the whole philosophy of zen. Haiku is an experience. Haiku involves an experience. Haiku is experience (enlightenment) - action (consequence) - effect (enlightenment). All these separate things are, in and of the moment, one. When the moment is spent, they are separate again.
I call any of my work which involves the above "zen poetry"; some of it is haiku (paradoxically), and some is recognisably poetry as a Westerner would understand it. They all have (I hope) this momentary quality, and a tension between discipline and freedom.
The poem above is haiku-like in its physical form. That was deliberate, in order to draw the reader into an expectation. But apart from that it doesn't follow any observable rule of haiku. It has an arcane feel to it - a suspicion that it isn't telling the reader everything. Is there something sexual about it? Is this describing a moment in love-making as a metaphor? your (my lover's) finger - where, physically is my midnight? Midnight is such a tenuous concept - a breath, a tick, a moment - neither in one day not the next, truly transient.
You notice that more words are expended explaining something like this than are actually used in the poem? I love that paradox. It makes me laugh.
Does that explain anything for you?
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nice sense of time
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Thank you.
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So much possiblility, in so few words...remarkable...'skid
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You are a poet who never misses your mark. Well done with this.
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If I could find the right way to explain this I would. Maybe I will just say perfection. Best to you in the contest
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The moment captured
Mmmmmm
Not Bad!!!
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Sweet
Love,
Amera
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Deja vu? lol Nice C
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You reckon?
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