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Lies

Why do you refuse me your love?
How can you deny me kisses?
I thought we were soul-mates,
I am your wife, the Misses.

 

You say there is distance,

That we've grown apart.

But you cannot tell me,

There's no love in your heart.

 

Are you having an affair?

Did I do something wrong?

What could sever our marriage?

Our bonds were strong.

 

So it's over just like that?

Without an explanation?

I had nothing but love for you,

Complete adoration.

 

You can pack your crap,

Don't bother with goodbyes.

I thought I lived in a fairytale,

All I lived were lies.

 

In a list

A contest entry

Honest, respectful critiques are welcome!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • trekkergirl
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    I do like this one. Very well written. Flows very well. And has emotion. Anger. hurt. Disappoint. Even some fear. You did well writing this. Good luck in the contest.


  • drifting cloud silver member
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    The reader feels emotion here and the flow keep makes it an easy read. Keep writing on.


  • islekine gold member
    September 4

    Edit | Reply

    Ahhh ...realization!

    Yes, life is NOT a fairy tale...nice emotion...
    Best wishes in the contest and always! Thanks so much for entering! Write on and on!

    and


  • BluesMan gold member
    September 4

    Edit | Reply
    Fairytale romances are seldom shared by two.
    When this fact is realized it can be devistating.
    I liked how you portrayed your emotion in this poem
    and how you gained acceptance of this heartache.
    Which empowered you to let go, insted of pathetically clinging on!!!
    Well done and well written.
    Good luck in the conterst.

    Bill

  • Susan E. Pennycuff
    September 4

    Edit | Reply
    Holy crap... I sure can relate to this one right now... I mean... I am LIVING IT!
    That last stanza sums it up pretty damn well!
    The only difference is I am engaged instead of married.

    Excellent write dear.

    Best of luck in the contest.

    Suzi

  • JToddUnderhill
    September 4

    Edit | Reply

    Right on...

    .... You tell em' He did deserve your love anyway. No one deserves the love a grand poetess such as yourself. you were just wasting your words on him as well. I liked the poem, I liked the line "I had nothing but love for you, Complete adoration." For that is what us poets do completely adore something only to have our hearts ripped out thrown on the floor and walked on. You did a grand write here and keep them coming. Love peace and Chicken Grease


  • This is so very sad, but it's such a powerful write. Wonderful job.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 4

    Edit | Reply
    Very deep and sad my friend! It's a terrible feeling to be in this position and no one ever deserves to be treated like that. When the one that you love suddenly turns on you it can be very devistating and most of all heart breaking. Great work expressing yourself in this poem and all the best to you in this contest! Take care!




    Jeremy0826

1 - 8 of 8