Painful Insanity

Blood...
Pain...
Warmth...
Insanity...

Broken sentences fill my head
Pain sears my body
I laugh in glee and insanity
as my world goes red

"More," I whisper,
I lick my cracked lips
dried with blood
"Give me more"

Agony numbs my body,
Shuts down my mind,
Cleans out my soul

A wave of nausia sweeps over me
Focusing my mind
Forcing me to see
what sins I had committed

A knife clasped in my trembling hand,
Wam red liquid spilling on the cool marble floor
where the body of my captors
lay in a disorted heep

I drop the infected blade
which clattered on the floor,
echoing through the hollow halls,
the daunting sound echoing in my head

I trace my hands on the white walls,
leaving a trail of blood

A weak chuckle parts from my lips,
Intensifying into gales of laughter,
crowing like a madman

I spread my arms out like wings,
running out into the rain,
which beat upon my back
for God shed no tears for me
but pitied such a beast as I

I continue to run in circles,
lifting the burden from my chest
Insane?
I only rejoiced

Now I peer down at this pitiful world
from a place where I wished
the heavens could embrace me

A last sigh escapes me,
I jump off and sink down

Warm light bathes me
and I peer up

A soft hand reaches out towards me
grasping my hand,
pulling me up

My black heart melts away,
and peace finally sets in my heart
I see the face of God
and weep

But he embraces me as his child
Free...I thought
and I close my eyes one last time
as one last tear
rolls down my face and falls into darkness
forever...