The colors bleed off the page
But it’s not a page, it’s what I see
A silhouette in an empty chair
His arm around an absent guest
A white outline with a vacant stare
In an empty restaurant, late at night
We can find nirvana within ourselves
Our inner turmoil blinds our minds
Our eyes cant think
And our hands cant see
We’re all unwell
We’re all unwell
We can only be where we are
It’s not always where we belong
A hat without a head is much like
A rack without a hat, they’re useless
Regrets and life cant coexist
A quest to see another side
Have you wanted to test the edge
Take the leap from the top
We cant have both
We cant know the end
We’re all unwell
We’re all unwell
A contest entry
- what you will by Fairies on Fire.
850 points, ended September 14, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I presume this is lyrics? I think it works pretty nicely as a song anyway...
I quite like this but I think it needs a uniting theme to draw it together as an accomplished piece of writing. An extended metaphor would do this well too. Aside from that, which would lift this poem exponentially, I really didn't like the lines
"A hat without a head is much like
A rack without a hat, they’re useless" - they seem far too stated and I can't see teh purpose of them, they don't add anything to the stanza.
Thank you,
- Sarah x
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well written. I can see this be a good song.
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