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Discordant

My guitar strings in the moonlight should be something beautiful,
but the cold liquid white just makes everything harsher.
–not soft like snow, but deceptively fine –
Light is discordant
like my clumsy fingers that keep
mutilating the restless heavens with their attempts at mourning.

Why the fuck won’t they move right,
Don’t they realize how much depends on perfection?

I’m right here; I mutter to the stars and pray they spread it out over you
Like the night they hold up while atlas dreams.
But I’m not there. I’m not even anywhere –
I can’t put a finger on me.
I’m not real. I whisper over the translucent shell of my existence
and drench myself in intangible alabaster…
and I’m not real because I need your voice
to tell me I’m not invisible,
to stop me from falling up like a red balloon.
I don’t want to be the scar in the sky anymore.

I’m looking at patterns of patterns of the beyond
and no matter how many constellations I calculate in my head
the lines here, here, and here, easy as you please
I shiver because I know it makes no sense.
Not like we did.

I’m walking on edges of that metallic element of pale
and grasping red-rimmed fistfuls of atmosphere.
but they’re never close enough, the stars–
and that’s why they’re there. That’s what I’ll tell my children.
They’re just the paint-brush splattered whim of
some malevolent deity –
Maybe we all are. I write it down, “paint-splatter of flesh”
tracing finger-prints through indignant sprigs of lawn.
But I might as well be writing on the bathroom mirror
because the words still won’t come out right.

And now everything’s backwards –
and you can’t fall up
and you can’t explain god
and you can’t fix light, even if it looks broken
and you can’t reflect sound, even if you angle it just so.

I can’t live like this.

Author notes

m i c a e l a l s e t h

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • NoseRingGirl
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is an incredibly lovely piece. The first two lines draw the reader in immediately, into a world of delicious, raw, emotional imagery. This sort of writing is what I had only hoped to find in this contest, so thank you very much for delivering, above and beyond my expectations.

    "and I’m not real because I need your voice
    to tell me I’m not invisible"

    These are some of the most beautiful words I have ever read on this website. Whatever revising you may do in the future, PLEASE don't touch those two lines. Thank you so much for entering, and I look forward to reading more from you.


  • Spiritual Soul gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Again you blow me away girl I love the images in this, and I love love the ending

    And now everything’s backwards –
    and you can’t fall up
    and you can’t explain god
    and you can’t fix light, even if it looks broken
    and you can’t reflect sound, even if you angle it just so.

    I dunno I just love it because it's so true, and this poem explain kinda the way I'm feeling now, you said it, the way I couldn't this is awesome girl! Thanks for sharing!

    Blessings,
    ~Michaela~


  • mysticstorm gold member
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    Well done...so much deoth and chill in your words...it is smooth and amazing in sadness...

    Best,