It took me 17 years to face-plant into my "big girl" shoes
and I’m prepared to take the fall, as long as you're willing
to catch me whenever I hit rock bottom.
I used to think that with every ounce of my being
I'd never be able to make it on my own,
and my perceptions of you always seemed to come out blurry,
and maybe I was afraid to grow up, maybe I'm still not ready.
When I was 15 I used to pretend that my life was nothing
but a never ending playlist filled with secrets, lies, blasphemy
sadness, and fear. I used to make excuses for my failure
and I buried myself in the torture of living in the coldest shadow.
So I let guitar riffs pull me apart when the lights went out
and forgot what it felt like to smile.
There used to be times when I did nothing but dream,
There used to be a time when I was a morning person and
could care less of how I looked, but you changed all that,
didn't you Adulthood? You took an innocent, unaware
kid and molded her into insecurity.
I've carved apologies for my imperfections into my heart
since I was ten and lately I've forgotten that
I don't have to inhale/exhale forgiveness, and you taught me that.
You showed me, through hazy brown irises,
that there are people that will do anything to spit on your name
and let you know that you're not good enough
to take in the same amount of oxygen as them.
But that's okay; they won't get an award for being my commentary.
I've found out recently that I'm not ready to be honest with myself,
and lately my weaknesses are starting to show
and I'm going to eventually bleed denial.
I understand that fifty-five percent of the time negativity
finds way through my veins and I can give off the vibe of
reluctance. And I know that from day one you had a plan
but, haven't you realized that I'm not fond of directions
and I can't understand this blueprint?
Why can't you just understand?
I want a couple of more years to make mistakes without
having jagged fingers pointed at my direction and sticking my nose in everything wrong I've done in my timeline.
You’ve made it clear that I was made to be that girl
who stuck her nose in books and
wrote classic prose poetry of how boy meets girl.
You’re forcing a smile to stretch itself across my face
and you’re whitewashing every lie that’s hidden underneath my layers of fear.
You can let go of my hand now, I'm prepared to take this walk
alone.
Author notes
project for english... ehh i hope it doesn't suck
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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wow this is so amazing. And it kind of reminds me of myself, heh<3. And naw hun it deff doesn't suck. (: Amazing job, I'm so jealous of your writing skills.
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wow.
amazing from start to finish.. the whole piece had my breath caught in between the lines. this was excellent, what a write...
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thank you a bajillion times over
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I enjoyed this poem...and could relate to it's depths and heights.
Poetess...I am 54 years old...and when life calms down...the children
are grown....are have taken their root hopefully within fertile ground...
you have this odd moment of realization....that ...it's now or never
to ....live your every verse and dream....and this time the only
one holding you back....is....you...and damn...if you don't come face
to face with your innerchild who giggle and laughs....
remember the jungle bars...we were fearless and bold....
despite the possiblity we were going to behead ourselves...
and then we grew old...and learned how to and when...in just
the right increments to achieve success for our lives.
I got to tell ya..it's an amazing journey....and I am more thankful
now for the "mistakes" that taught me grit and determination...
and the tears of humility!
I loved your poem!
way to write!
it was smartly written and exquisite!
ears2hearyou/Kathleen/Seattle
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: )
i read this yesterday, and twice today.
which in other words.
i really love it. everything about it.
i don't read prose alot. but i could tell this this is original.
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2nd paragraph: use would make more sense as "used." also, you randomly capitalized an "i" in there, which i didn't get because you didn't capitalize them anywhere else. god i must sound so picky and obnoxious
sorrysorrysorry.
i love this, though, great write
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so i added some extra to it...it may seem better now
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me is reading.
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and me likes it very much now
it seems...more...full. complete.
just outta curiosity, what was the assignment? -
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its basically giving adulthood personification and telling it about your life and whatnot..
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lol i noticed that, and i fixed it. for once i wanted to capitalize crap. and yu aren't sounding like that, i need things to be in some sort of order, since it's a grade
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