I know it was not easy
After twenty years of marriage he was gone
Leaving you with five children
The first grandchild born the same year
I know it wasn't easy for you
After eighteen years of being your daughter
She leaves you with me, the first born grandchild
How did you do it
You did it by leaving me alone
With four kids who adored me
Until I was not a cute baby anymore
Then the hard times started
People that have acted like they love you for your entire life
Suddenly are calling you names
Bitches and whores aren't normally nine years old
But I didn't know
The people that always loved me before
Now saying these ugly things
They must be true...
And if I just say I'm sorry and run along, the name calling stops
Entering my teenage years already on drugs
I wasn't strong enough to not follow the examples
My aunt and uncles left for me
And my mom was nowhere to be seen, my grandma always at work
Mom comes back manic and likes to hit
Staying away from home solves everything
I wish I could say I handled it better
Leaving home for good was the only thing that saved me
Now I have a child of my own to raise
I can only pray he never goes through the hurt that I did
I do everything in my power to ensure that he does not
The past hurt did teach me compassion
Strong because of necessity, not by choice
Author notes
Gold in ThunderChild's contest: allpoetry.com/Contest/560049
Written April 2nd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Coming out anguish by Serene.
500 points, ended April 3, 2004, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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i really like this write and wish you had followed all of the rules for my contest. the punctuation this lacks cost a win for you. sorry. viyanna rosemarie
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Thank you very much for your honest comment. I don't feel this poem needed it, the way I layed it out. I use it in most of my poems, but I find it unnecessary in this one. Thanks for the contest, but this isn't lacking to me.
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That was really good. I had to read ait a few times since you mentioned so many different generations. But ya, making it slightly hard to follow only pulled me into it more. Ya this was really sad and awesome and reminded me of the few tough times I have had and how nice it is that I've got it easy. Great job.
o.0 -
Thank you so much. Unfortunately one of my biggest problems has always been letting people in. Hopefully getting to know me from my poems won't scare you away, because I don't paint a very flattering picture of myself.
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what can I say....its awesome
I can see how you won gold! This was a strong heartfelt piece and I think judging from all your comments/applauses everyone could feel it. When you write straight from the heart you can never go wrong. As always I'm sorry this sort of thing had to happen to you and its too bad that this is what made you the strong woman you are today...which you are...but I think even if it was a choice you would still be a strong woman! yay on learning compassion from anger.
Thanks for sharing this....poem by poem I learn a little bit more about you lol. 
Peace and love
Susan
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This one was really kool too. I liked how you described how it was accomplished after the question in italics. That was a nifty idea. Great job.
-J.
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oh wow...this is really deep and really touching...i'm kind of taken back, wow....awesome job ...i'm really proud of you and all you have accomplished....
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i'm just slightly strung out but
i appauld....and i just wanted you to say thank you
for stopping by my shitty corner of AP.
great write.
-ash- -
WOW... and it is SO true. Really... people aren't born strong, and they don't become that way because they want to... people are strong (REALLY TRUELY strong) because they NEED to be. BEAUTIFUL poem.
Stephi
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Wow! Powerful poem and story! Your background works well with your poem. I'm not sure if you actually went through that situation, but I like your resolve and message not to let the cycle of abuse continue. Well done!
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I've always said, if I have kids I won't bring them up the way I was brought up. No offence, but alot of things were kept away from me as a child, maybe they thought they were protecting me, but when the truth came out, I was extremly hurt about it and that was wrong. Not that I had a bad up bringing, but still a hug a kiss or simple words like, I love you, I'm proud of you went a miss.
This has a lot of stregnth in it and I like the closing statement in this piece, well done
Natalia -
Thank you very much, I appreciate it
take care
~whisper -
excellent
Congratulations on this amazingly powerful poem - and coming through life having learned some important lessons. You earned the gold with this, both for your written testimonial and your "graduation" from such a school of "hard knocks"! -
awesome
BRAVO! This is really really great...But I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I love how you described your strength as being out of necessity, not by choice...You had to be strong to literally survive the terrible nightmare you went through as a child. And now with a child of your own, I understand your determination to give her something much better than what (or what you didn't) have. Don't worry though, because you're a wonderful person, and I'm sure a terrific mother. Pen on great poet!
*~*Mel*~* -
moving
This is a very powerful poem, I'm sorry if it is your life. The lines standing alone are given more consequence, that is a very good idea. I applaud the conviction to spare the next generation the pain that we have had.
Thank you for visiting my poem, and your praise. -
This is very sad. Im sorry you had to go throgh with this. I had to somewhat, and was stuck in a foster hame for 2 years.. IM glad to know youve endured this pain, and that your trying to make your life better for your child. I honor your strength, keep up the good work!
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kick azz
that was really good, sad, but really good, *tear*, keep up the good workz
~EmmA~ -
descriptive and amazing..noticed it fit the description of the contest perfectly...thats talent...i love the way your words phase back an forth...very thought provoking...great work..
-spanky- -
amazing
Hey this is an awesome poem, truly awesome,you told a story and it was excellently worded. You must be a very strong person, i am glad you turned this pain from the past into a strength for you in the future. It was so ful of emotion and depth. I enjoyed reading this so much, i hope you win the contest, best of luck to yas.
~JO~ -
Thank you very much I may have more now...but not for long.. you are amazing
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This is so powerful...so deep and filled with emotion. I'm sad you had to endure this - I can only say I know just a little bit from personal experience. You are such a talented writer and a strong woman...good luck in the contest - this truly deserves a win! (See, you still have more trophies than I do
)
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is is strong, and very emotional, thank you for sharing this with all of us here at ap
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Wow! This is a very deep, stirring piece. A lot of things happen in this poem to make me feel sorry and bad for anyone I've ever left alone when they called for attention, but this isn't an act to get attention, is it? This is just an amazing piece of art that is true because it happens, and it's sad that it happens. You wrote on this topic extremely well. A fabulous write, if I may say so myself.
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this is AWESOME. its so .. so .. DEEP, and wow, how long did it take you to write this ?
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Thank you very much. I was afraid I wouldn't be descriptive enough. Best of luck to you judging this contest, you have a lot of wonderful entries.
take care
~whisper -
This is some powerful writing here,
you've not only displayed the actual quality
that I was seeking in this contest, and
the emotions are just so excellently drawn,
you have presented it in a very exceptional manner.
Well done on an excellent entry!!
Thank you for entering!!
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