Step One: Getting Him to Notice You
GET BIGGER BOOBS LADIES!
Step Two: Getting Him to Like You
Think/act/live slutty.
Step Three: Keeping Him Happy
Never stop giving him food. Never ever ever.
Then, act like you are hopelessly obsessed with
him and you need him to survive.
Call him a man-whore.
Call him hot or sexy; but never call him cute.
Step Four: Making Sure He Does Not Get Bored in a Phone Conversation
Talk about girls with him, as though you are a guy yourself.
Talk about masturbation.
Tell him how far you've gone with someone, and then add how far you want
to go.
If he says something funny, make sure your laugh sounds orgasmic.
He's only entertained if he finds some way to jizz in his pants.
Step Five: Getting to Act Like a Normal, Sweet Boy
Pretend to talk behind his back about what a jackass he is.
[Have a friend tell him all this nasty stuff that you supposedly said about him.]
He will get very sad and upset with himself.
When he does, apologize and tell him how you just made all that horrible
stuff up so he would act like a real person.
Then, act like yourself. Don't change yourself to please him.
He's not dependent on that anymore, and he should love you just the way you are.
Step Six: Talking to the Newly-found Sweet Boy
Don't act like a slut. It makes him uncomfortable.
Have normal sized boobs.
He can have food every now and then.
Do not act obsessed; be madly in love, which is exactly how you'll feel.
Never call him a man-whore. He will get very sad.
Call him cute. He will giggle.
Don't talk about girls. He just wants to talk about you.
Never talk about anything to do with sex, until you are old enough to feel ready for it.
Laugh normally, orgasmic or not.
He gets embarrassed if he jizzes in his pants, but don't worry, he doesn't anymore.
Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!
Author notes
sorrry its so long!
this was option one in the contest thingie. sorry if its not what you are looking for! i wasnt sure if it was. but as long as im writing again! wahoo!
allright. cool. okay.
huggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggglllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz
peoplezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
A contest entry
- Lookie! Lookie! [hehe Im kinda beggin ya here] by eat.yo.soup.
1000 points, ended September 15, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what did you think of it?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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^_^
This was AMAZING, not too long at all! so take that out of your AN you silly!!
UUGH I was laughing soooooo hard
And it had such a wonderful ending.
Thank you very much for that and Good Luck! -
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welllll thank you very much! and omFg that is like the coolest screen name ever! EAT YO SOUP!!
hahaha i love it.
hugggggggggggggggggllllllllleeeeezzzzzz
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but i had to hide the backgrd... tone it down a little... pleeeeeez?
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i love it
this is good stuff
and you're writing after so long O:
when did you get so brilliant? i love the sarcasm, the humor and then the sweet side of love.
bookmarked coz i'm going to be reading this again
and again
and again (: -
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thank you soooo much bffl!!!!!!! teehee.
as for the background, sorry ill fix it. but i love those colors you meanie! hahaha
thank yaz
huggggggggggggggggllllllllllleeeeeeeezzzzzzzz
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i've just read the first two lines and i'm rolling on the floor laughing
best opening ever
ok onto the rest
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