You are the other side of the stars
hidden behind Andromeda’s
strangle ragged arms
rustling in stellar winds
that trick my heavy senses
and dust nightingale leaves with
ghost light and divinity
missed.
You are the other side of the stars
lost in a deeper dark that
scientists never see
amongst their spectacles and sightlessness
and crackpot theories
scratched by bitten nails
crying now down raging blackboards
perpetually isolating
that forgotten formula
of the soul.
You are the other side of the stars
where off-duty angels fuck and gamble
in ways we cannot begin to
comprehend
where black holes suck the cosmos
into little boy pockets
filled with frogs and fluff and string
and only mystery gas escapes
the apology of our logic.
You are the other side of the stars
stretched wide beyond my tired eyes
beyond this devastating void
further than immeasurable inconsequence
and words have ever travelled
where fireflies of light years
vainly try to knock
the lid from this stone cold cooking pot
called sky.
You are the other side of the stars
ravaged by ceaseless space
that rejoices in being a word-wiped-web
of internet deception
where reading between the lines
tells its own story about
the very nature of our existence
merely to fool us both
in the bullshit it belies.
You are the other side of the stars
and when I stop dreaming and really think about it
I realise
that all that lies between us is
space
and that space is actually
nothing at all
Author notes
For you and for me.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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oh the things your poetry does to me. you're a gem.
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Thank you - I'm so glad it does and ditto!!
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I rather enjoy this.
The lexicon, the satirical brevity, and the sincerity for whom it was written. The astrological paradoxes play keenly into the extrospective analysis of your admirer. You've a gift for vernacular and a prize find amongst the monotony that is many poets I've read lately. I'll be back by for more of your writes.
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Your comment is incredibly uplifting. Thank you so much for these kind words and I hope you find enjoyment in some of my other works.
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wow well written i really enjoyed reading it
as for critical advice i think you could try something else rather than using the same opening line in every verse, pesonally i got a little bored with the repetition
and that you have left way too many lines at the end for nothing at all
but other than that i think its an amazing write
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There is of course a massive, highly personal story behind this piece - but all of the answers are within. The repetition of line 1 was neccessary to emphasise a point - and I'm so glad to say that it worked for the person it was written for! I really appreciate your comment, your observations and the time you took in reading and making them.
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Intense
i love the details and discription! Very deep thoughts. I was glued to this piece. I like the format. And u stick with it all the way thro. So many change line style or even subjects.... You are a mature writer. Keep up the good work!
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Great job man, this poem was quite powerful. The whole imagery you used with about space just flowed so nice. I personally loved the entire 3rd stanza, that was just some pure genius there.
I liked that you were willing to have some profanity or edginess to get your point across. Let the emotion in your voice really come through.
Awesome write My pleasure to read. Much love
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Many thanks for showing your appreciation Roy.
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Many thanks for this comment - so glad you enjoyed. K
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Wow, this is really cool. I love the title, really makes the reader think!
keep writing!
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Well done.
I really did like this very much, you create very interesting images and very interesting ideas, however at times it felt like your descriptions and obscurity got a touch heavy handed.
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I was feeling this poem, but when I got to the off-duty angels, I mind just flew away.
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Three stars for trying then!
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wonderful
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Kezz . . . you, my good man, are at your best, your most poetically fertile when you allow your mind through the pen to create imagery such as this!!!!! BRILLIANT . . .
Marc
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