I am the observatory.
The eye beneath the galaxy of infinity,
that blankets the harbor
and out to seas,
where new worlds are born,
and everything begins again.
I am the seed of oak.
Mighty in the earth,
my beginnings entangled in dirt,
overlapping each new start..
rooted and braided patiently,
unknotting the rings of time ,
that were only seen,
when they broke me in two,
and separated
your heart from mine.
I am the hour glass.
Joining time and distance,
distracting you as I set it back,
to when sands run thick,
and glass melts thin.
And just for a moment,
Infinity stops,
to look upon,
forever in your eyes.
Author notes
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In a list
A contest entry
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Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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Absolutly wonderful
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I love the intimacy here brought about by the first person narrative and the way you throw off the established form at the end to slow down the pace and give the reader time to reflect. (Goes without saying, great imagery) Wish I could do that!
Good luck in the contest!
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Absolutely amazing. Speaks to me especially because of my slight obsession with the concepts of space, time, and infinity.
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This is a very powerful poem! I like the mix of time and imagery. It has very straight forward raw emotion. =) I especially enjoyed
"unknotting the rings of time ,
that were only seen,
when they broke me in two,
and separated
your heart from mine."
Well done!!!
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C'est magnifique ...
ou au moins, je le crois.
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Joining time and distance,
distracting you as I set it back,
to when sands run thick,
and glass melts thin.
And just for a moment,
Infinity stops,
to look upon,
forever in your eyes.
Pure beauty... deeply felt.. sigh...
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Powerful
Your words echo through my mind with pure enjoyment and beauty -
Your talent never stops amazing me. Your words come through with such power and force and then so much softness and calm always exactly where it is needed.
" Mighty in the earth,
my beginnings entangled in dirt,
overlapping each new start..
rooted and braided patiently,
unknotting the rings of time ,
that were only seen,
when they broke me in two,
and separated
your heart from mine" I love these words, they ring a sad familiarity to my heart. You sir are a true master of words!
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I love this.. you have such a way with words... I can only imagine the conversations about life we could have together
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really nice work here as always, L! I love the natural and universal approach to everlasting love... wonderful imagery that is both earthy and spiritual... love knows no distance... And just for a moment,
Infinity stops,
to look upon,
forever in your eyes.A great way to end the poem.
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A seductive, appealing mind fuck! Thanks for the ride, Liam. What a well written tapestry. Loved it Liam, Amanda
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beauty full
An interesting view of time....that is the thread stitched into the tapestry of our lives, and is synonymous with Love...hmmm....
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This is really good, when I read it you feel the emotion. it's lovely.
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A new and improved version/spin of the "I am" poem. I have a feeling many of the ladies liked this one, yes? smiles. Nice pen.
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Very eloquently worded I like the structure, I find myself lost and then lose myself time and time again...trying to speak the language of love as the creator spoke but it was one word and we are the residue of that first thought, the ever spiralling waves that overlap going out and returning in endless mesmerising circles
What a stunning selection of thoughts my friend, I will have to admit that the ever recurring I AM really does it for me
However, there are two love songs in this one...both of them beautiful
Very cool brother
John
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sighhhhh for these words could take your breath away and dance upon the light in your eyes.. stunning my sweet friend many hugs always Angel♥
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Thank you!
Ooooh... spinetingling-ly beautiful!! I was completely drawn in. I love how you spaced out the last 4 lines, it gives the impression of time s t r e t c h i n g. And I loved the images of the observatory, oak, and hourglass. They are so uncliched and you used them masterfully.
Thank you thank you!!!
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this is so emotional and deep, it has left me speechless. I would say more if i could, my friend, but I don't know what i COULD say to describe this works beauty.
Lillie
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this has that intensity that keeps the reader moving closer to the screen as it goes on. how wonderful you use your words here, placing them in the right spots to get that feeling across... time meets, like eyes across the table.
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liam...you will never know...and i can never share...but this poem...it digs so deep...and is so so so omg words evade me....those last four lines..especially...just for a moment infinity stops....i was there...and then infinity started...with a whamp...and the jolt threw me off....dammit you are sooooo good
catch some hugs
T
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Oh Liam, it's just beautiful. A real love poem, well written and beautifully formatted. I really enjoyed reading this, write more soon!!!
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And this one for keepin' too. I always look forward to seeing you mate. -c
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SWEET
I am the observatory. I love that so much man, I really do. The purpose of the first line is for the rest of the poem to be required, and certainly, it is after that..
But you have to grow to infinity, it didn't begin there, it started with one. And maybe it only needed two..
It also speaks to me of loss, maybe, someone's funeral? It was subtle, but I also feel that emotion a little bit too. Am I right? Even remotely? LOL
Either way, I loved this..Again, great job~
BLESSINGS,
BRANDON
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The cosmic "I" that sees all and catches us up in its sense of wonder. You capture it well and keep it personal and within the conscious reach of the reader.
The naif: both god's eye but at the affect of the world's strength. The abiding and yet the aching and reaching. The beginning of the tension of a personal quest in the last line of the second verse.
Time: unconquerable but all encompassing. Both at the affect of and effective as time in never leaving. Both the conquered and the conqueror, but forever knelt before the shrine of her love.
Effective use of the abstract and the concrete to create a personal yet metaphysical feast of vision and words. These are hard poems to write. To heady and the audience yawns and drifts off to sleep or into the hands of boredom, to personal and all the language changes into purple and becomes an invitation to melodrama. It is a balancing game that you have taken on and as far as I can see succeeded. Perhaps it is the gentleness of the spirit that guides it from the very start.
Peace, Tom B.
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eloquent love story
written with love in his heart; for the beauty that he adores; forever in his eyes.....love your way with words......they played a song in my heart by just merely reading its message to your love......penned well.....well-written......love peace & harmony
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This is lovely big brother your words so lovely as always!!! I love you!!!
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Congrats on the spotlight!!
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Awww!
I absolutely love this
infinity stops - amazing write !
Thanks for sharing and god bless
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wow
i read alot of poems..and i must say this is amazing...loved it from beginning to end...thank u for doin what u love... -
beautiful
Always so well-written...all the poetic details attended to. Your pen speaks well for you with this one. I love this line..
Mighty in the earth,
my beginnings entangled in dirt,
that is sheer poetry. =) well done!
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absolute,
perfection.
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Bravo neighbor. Happy trails.
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I did like this one.
I liked how you described first that you were the observatory and then the hour glass...
Very creative write here.
And I liked the ending where you hope that infinity stops so you can look into her eyes forever. Nice... I like it. thanks for sharing this with us.
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Loved It!
I have to admit that although I am not much on romantinc poetry, I really liked this. Very well written and great use of descriptive language and metaphor. This is also a very nice technique by which you compare yourself to natural elements. Well done!
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breathtaking
oh how I wish we could stop infinity..... you have a beautiful use of language, my favorite lines are:
"unknotting the rings of time ,
that were only seen,
when they broke me in two,
and separated
your heart from mine."
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I'm sitting here listening to "Starship Trooper" off the yes album, what a perfect merging of poetry and music. Kind of like the whole "Dark Side Of OZ" thing.
To be the observatory and to know that no matter how many times things end, a new beginning is awaiting 'round the next turn of time.
To know that the truth of what is can only be seen after that which is held dear has been destroyed.
To be able to see forever in the eyes of one you love. The ending on this just tears me up Brother, just wondering how much longer it will be 'til time turns round again.
Peace
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"And just for a moment,
Infinity stops,
to look upon,
forever in your eyes."
Love that part..Made me smile.
Smooth and very well written..Enjoyed this read..Keep it up.
*Kelsi*
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Very Descriptive
Darling there is such vibrancy in the way you integrate natural elements into this realm of observation, I love how you wind your words in an ever seamless way that just gifts intensity. I love when you gift me food for thought and this holds the sustenance of flavour I will ponder. My heartfelt thank you darling for a most powerful post.
Lady E
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wow. always an elegant write
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Loved the first stanza and your ending, both were amazing and captivating. Well penned imagery and words.
Love
~Noor
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.... i'm absolutely speechless....
amazing work!
forever humbled,
me
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fuuuuuck.
that was one amazing trip, kind of gave me that outer limits feeling. remember that show? the beginning used to scare the crap out of me
.
you just blew my mind.
thanks for that you old gypsy man...
sigh
love,
jin
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seductive, appealing, smooth and very good.
nice meter, good visual aid. I like it's weave in and out.
almost a courting jesture.
my hat off to you
Tamara
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"rooted and braided patiently,
unknotting the rings of time ,
that were only seen,
when they broke me in two,
and separated
your heart from mine."
rings so many chimes in my soul.... that stanza there was a thing of bittersweet beauty, my dear. your pen has brought tears to my eyes again, and i can't say why here, but will try to explain it another day.
Is t'u mo ghr'a
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Amazingly well woven... image to image, idea to idea flowed from one to another with acute serenity. Amazing. An eye beneath... what a sight to behold in the mind. Thanks for the good read.
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wow. i loved it because it actually had a sequence and rhythum. It had a tyle. it also paints a picture in my head. good work thank you for sharing. i am very glad i read.
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Great
Wonderful poem here. This poem presents powerful imagery with verses that carry many a cryptic meaning. I absolutely love what you've done here!
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oh...
someone has released a romantic from deep and within! This almost comes as a jolt of electricity to me...
this write is stunning and beautiful;
you've captured nature at her most still and profound...
"I am the seed of oak"
Have you been camping again? lol!
You know, you've truly captured me me with this,
Thank-you
bahahaha!
-joss
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wow great job
your such a talented writer -
Cosmic and spacey with a feeling of powerful nature that kept me grounded while my head spun off into the next galaxy at the speed of light.
As always it is a sheer pleasure to read your stuff, keep 'em coming.
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Absolutely beautiful! I can't add too much more than that...this has left me speechless. love, faith
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Beautiful poem, beautifully penned, so lovely to read
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oh Liam..
My heart stood still with this one ,
I took one breath in ,exhaled, thats all it took just to read this...
I was left breathless
"And just for a moment
Infinity stops ,
to look upon
forever in your eyes"
That was so deep and heavy.
If I was to get someone to say something like that to me
I think I would melt right there into a puddle!
You don't write much but when you do it's powerful!
I always enjoy reading something new from you.
Brilliant!
Love,
Mandi
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Time stands still with this write, Liam! Your opening line.."I am the observatory"
the eye beneath the galaxy or infinity'
I am the hourglass..
and just for a moment
iffinity stops
to look upon forever
in your eyes
This poem draws the soul close to the sentiment and passion felt here ,..an overwhelming recognition of true love shared in such an expressive write dear Liam...'Adore how you have penned it!
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breathtaking doesn't even begin to describe
how beautiful this is...
it's soft and strong at the same time.
this poem is like describing that all elusive
love at first sight....
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