I saw him
For the first time
I had my eyes on him
His eyes
That sparkle in the sunlight
His body
That makes mine go weak
It's first blood
First sight
It's faith
I can't speak to him
Because I would have nothing to say
Al I would do is just stare
Stare and just gaze
Into his gorgeous eyes
That makes me fill that I'm alive
There's all the signs
That makes him what he is
Impossibly strong
And his hands are cold as ice
Makes it soon to realize
What I'm dealing with
A vampire
A vampire
Makes it sounds crazy
But I had to ask
If he already knows what I'm going to say
He said yes
I felt afraid
But he asked that
And I said no
He took me up to that mountain
In lightening fast speed
I had to open my eyes
To see if this is really happening
That this is now my life
I began to question my thoughts
As if this is some dream
Where I can't wake up
As if this is not real
And I had to choose to stay here
His first sight of me
He told me this is what he needs
He's been waiting on me
I couldn't say a thing
Seeing that I'm attached to him
And he could never escaped from me
It's the first time
As if I'm his first blood
I know I had to choose
I had to either walk away
Or go back to boring old me
So I took a step
And let him touch my skin
It felt cold as ice
And it felt real nice
He seems to complete me
When I have come undone
Through my life
I never had a thought
On how I would die
But seeing I told you at this begining
To die for someone else that I love
That's my willing sacrifice
My first love
My first blood
My first sight
I think that's even enough
Author notes
And I credit Stephenie Meyer for her lovely books that everyone I know loves..including me...and for her characters that wouldn't even exist without her dream
Bella-Edward
Relationship
A contest entry
- Twilight Saga- Relationships by Little Blue Bird.
650 points, ended November 27, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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i loved it! your view on bella and edward is so accurate. nice. xoxo
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I don't understand what you mean by "first blood". When dealing with Twilight, you might mention his thirst for her blood, but "first blood" doesn't make sense.
Third stanza, first line. What signs that make him what he is? If there are signs, maybe a different word would suit the poem better.
Fifth stanza, second line. Lightening - Lightning.
Seventh stanza, third line. Waiting on me - Waiting for me. Seventh stanza, sixth line. Escaped - Escape.
Eight stanza, seventh line. "Real nice" isn't the best. Try a different word instead of "nice" and "really" instead of "real".
Last stanza, fourth line. Begining - Beginning.
Overall, it was a wonderful read, and a perfect take on the prompt. Beautiful write you've got there.
Thanks for sharing and good luck,
Claire
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I enjoy this,awesome job
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Great write
Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
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