Heartache, shattered
we are left for dead
the forsaken, forgotten
We never had a chance
in a world of cold-hearted
mindless and cruel people
Everyone calls us freaks
the ones who shy away
from the popular culture
So, we dress in black
and wear dark make up
and listen to sad music
It is just us, and no one
else has the right to tell us
that we don't belong
We have to take a stand,
be true to our beliefs
and not back down, ever
Author notes
Title option chose: 997. We are the broken.
A contest entry
- 1000 titles contest [part 3] by Antebellum.
550 points, ended September 14, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I understand the sentiment, but would like more showing and less telling throughout. For example How do "cold hearted mindless cruel people look?How do their voices sound? What do they say? What color or texture does their energy/rejection feel like? Same with "Everyone," Are they grey or green or coldly blue? When they speak or ridicule do their words spray from their mouths like bullets or snidely drip with cyanide? etc. Hope this is helpful.
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well done brova
good luck in this contest
Tasha
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great take on the title :]
The picture kind of made me laugh...not sure why.
The first two stanzas are my favorite part. thanks for taking the time to enter.
good luck -
It's a very nice piece that I'm sure most, if not all, people can relate to.
Very well written.
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I can relate to this Jeremy.
different dance same song,
but understand my friend,
this is such a powerful write
and so full of meaning !!
well done!
Blessings always
Rend
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