Dougal McPodge and the WobbleBottomBird

Dougal McPodge and the WobbleBottomBird

Do any of you know
About the WobbleBottomBird?
Not one of you? (That’s really strange!
In fact, it’s quite absurd!)
For everyone should know,
About the WobbleBottomBird,
A very dangerous creature –
In case you hadn’t heard!

So listen to this story
Of a strange young man I know,
A tale that’s full of horror,
And a tale that ends in woe…
And when it’s done, you will have heard
How dangerous it can be,
To cross the WobbleBottomBird:
Continue and you’ll see…

This strange young man was young McPodge –
A boy who liked to eat,
Lovely things like puds and cakes –
He found them such a treat!
And since he truly loved to eat,
He had a great big tum,
With only one thing bigger still –
His great big wobblebum!

In fact, McPodge, this strange young boy
This funny-looking fellow,
As well as being strangely built
Had hair both wild and yellow,
His cheeks were red and podgy,
He had ears that stuck right out,
He also had the strangest eyes
(Of that there is no doubt!)

The left was small and blue,
And it moved from side to side,
The other one was big and red,
And made him look cross-eyed!
But the strangest thing of all
Was his wobblebottom bum,
That wobbled even more
Than his great big wobbly tum!

Although this sounds amusing,
Young lad Dougal was quite sad,
He’d never had a friend at school
(He was a lonesome lad…)
Everyone would shout rude things,
And call him horrid names,
Make fun of him, and pick on him,
Exclude him from their games.

Just because he liked his food,
And had a great big bottom,
All the other kids said things,
Said things that were quite rotten!
It wasn’t right! It wasn’t fair!
But what could Dougal do?
His peers just didn’t want to know –
Disliked him through and through…

If only they had looked at him,
Looked underneath his skin,
Behind McPodge’s wobblebum,
They’d see a boy who’s thin!
Find a boy with dreams and hopes
And lots of things to say,
A boy who longed and hoped and prayed,
To play with friends each day.

But Dougal knew he couldn’t win,
He’d have to make a plan.
So every night he prayed for help -
Whilst eating lots of flan!
And then one night it happened,
As he lay in bed he heard,
Way off in the distance
Was the WobbleBottomBird!

The sound was truly scary!
It screamed and shrieked and squawked!
As Dougal wobbled out of bed,
And to the window walked…
He drew back both the curtains,
And looked out into the night…
He wasn’t sure what to expect…
Oh, what an awful sight!

Outside his bedroom window,
Was the WobbleBottomBird,
Making such an awful din –
The worst he’d ever heard!
And then he looked and realised
(Although the light was dim)
The WobbleBottomBird
Had a wobblebum like him!

It also had a great big tum,
And ears that stuck right out!
It also had the strangest eyes
(Of that there is no doubt!)
The left was small and blue,
And it moved from side to side,
The other one was big and red,
And made it look cross-eyed!

So young McPodge remained quite still
And wondered what to do,
Then watched the window open up –
He felt himself float through!
He floated out into the night,
Just drifting on the breeze,
Then landed on the great bird’s back…
And strangely felt at ease.

It flapped its wings and shook its head,
And opened up its beak,
And said in quite a posh voice:
“Did you know that I can speak?
I’m here tonight to help you out,
To make your dreams come true,
I thought that you should come along
To watch what I can do!”

And then without another word,
The two of them took flight,
Up and up, without a care –
A truly awesome sight!
They flew for just an hour or two,
Until the new day dawned,
And then the WobbleBottomBird
Turned its head and warned:

“Young Dougal, this is your last chance,
Shall I do what you have asked?
If so we’ll dive back down to earth
And then complete the task.”
“Of course,” said he, “It’s what I want,
I want them all to know.
Just how I feel, how sad I am,
Come on, my friend, let’s go!”

And so the WobbleBottomBird,
Flew down to Dougal’s School,
Where all the other children played,
The ones who thought it cool,
To shout rude things, insult the lad,
And call him horrid names,
Make fun of him, and pick on him,
Exclude him from their games.

And as the WobbleBottomBird
Swooped down above the yard,
They all looked up in total shock –
He’d caught them all off guard!
Now Dougal knew that normally
It’s not polite to stare.
But on this rare occasion,
He simply didn’t care.

“Let them stare,” he said out loud,
“I want them all to know,
That I am someone special –
So please give them a show!”
The WobbleBottomBird then swooped
Even lower still,
And next - to Dougal’s great dismay -
Ate all the kids at will!

“What have you done?” young Dougal cried
(For what else could he say?)
“I’ve just done what you asked me to,
Asked every single day!
You asked me to get rid of them,
Said this would make you glad,”
Replied the WobbleBottomBird,
“I hope that you’re not sad!”

“Of course I am!” young Dougal cried.
“I can’t believe you ate them!
I wanted them to understand –
I didn’t really hate them!”
And so the WobbleBottomBird
Turned, and said quite lightly,
“You really are ungrateful, lad!”
And ate him too (quite rightly!)

Epilogue

The moral of this story is
Please try not to be mean,
Or else the WobbleBottomBird
May eat you, as you’ve seen!
Instead be nice to others –
Treat them as you would yourself,
And you will live a life that’s filled
With happiness, joy and health!

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© 2009 David Elliott – all rights reserved

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