why should I look back?

Why should I reminisce
about shit that happened so long ago that it doesn't even matter to anyone else?
I think I ruin good days just for the hell of it with memories
which make me nostalgic for the past,
when it may not have been that great to begin with
I do miss feeling more confident
I wish I had that kick in my step that you gave me
or that I'd smile the way you'd get me to when I knew everything was gonna be ok
why did I talk myself out of so many things?
am I still?

Being alone feels so comfortable now, and that bothers me.
I hope it doesn't stay.