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My Lover

My lover burns me.
(((He let go)))
I sit and ponder his attraction.
***I know I felt “IT!”***
Lips, hands, arms 
Oh the joy------the pain.
Gone.
Hidden beneath the lies and jealousy.
My lover burns me.
(((He let go)))

Author notes

I sat and this came out. I have not edited this, not sure if I should really..let me know what u think k I would appreciate any and all critiques..thnx
Savina

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • HorrorFiend
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    I definitely feel the raw power of emotion.

    The opening lines were my favorite.


  • Xxcant runxX
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    i like it


  • AbundantBetrayals
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    i think the emotion in this poem is raw and therefore the poem should go unedited because it will match the emotion that is portrayed in your writing, well done.


  • xXMe17xX
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is a really good poem. short but still has a lot of meaning. i mean this is really good. it has a teen thing going on, but still very mature. so a promise is a promise check mine x