creeping seamless fungal crawl
slick and sly so subconscious
lurking with its hungry smile
grasp the earlobes and pull, flesh-reins
whispering your noiseless lies
a tower of babel collapsing meaningless
against exhausted membranous tympanic skins
stripping your bones slowly,
peeling the veins away,
reaching with your filthy fingers to pollute the primal,
penetrate profane this pariah purity.
pierced and mocked
by that most stubbornly real of illusions
recapitulate the mistakes of week after week
as if bound in gossamer and lace
knowing one's own strength to be well adequate
yet unable still to shatter the savage restraints.
stranded here in self-imposed desolation,
reaching hopelessly for rescue.
yet mercifully come the Dragons,
sooner or later, they always come
to bestow chimerichemical grace
moon-silver teal
sungilt verdure
sacred snakes of forbidden sanctity
helical whirling through blood and lung
sensual raptureal
in fantaceutical union.
Author notes
Prompt: Pins and Needles.
A contest entry
- pins & needles by sweet arrival.
400 points, ended September 2, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver dollars and empty lungs (prewrites) by Writing0Freedom.
600 points, ended December 1, 270 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
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The over the top vocabulary threw me off. I felt it read as purple prose, minus the prose, because I thought you used too many big esque words together, in a way that didn't fit. I didn't feel it really connected together, which is important when using out of the ordinary words. Also, all the descriptions need to be connected together for them to truely work.
WritingFree -
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Was my upbringing and education really -that- unusual? I just don't see most of these words as being 'unusual' vocabulary. Some of them, sure, but not the greater majority. What's the use of having such a well-stocked language if one isn't supposed to use it most of the time? I'm not disputing your point so much as, I guess, trying to note that what constitutes "out of the ordinary" vocabulary is very relative.
And I'm not sure I understand what you're saying about the descriptions not connecting to each other. They seem to connect quite well to me. Maybe it's just because you've never experienced what I'm describing, or else you have and I've just described it very poorly.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, at least.
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wow... your vocabulary and how you weave it is amazing. the knowing you have the ability to help, but are unable to is difficult. you pulled this horror-like piece together very well. i like that is wasn't just horror, but carries a message as well.
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