You strike me with words that scratch at my lips like needles and you use your fingertips to burn my skin. You use my fear to make you powerful and I get bruises that are invisible to the eyes. You try to drown my tears with fear and senselessness. You look into your coffee like as if nothing ever happened. So Ill smile and act like it never happened too. I’m just gunna sit here and let you dig your grave six feet under.
If I don’t kill you…your coffee will.
A contest entry
- Just Give It To Me (First contest) by Wyakin.
490 points, ended August 31, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
liked the beginning the bestest.
very angry in a I'm not taking this any more kinda way.
-
I loved the beginning but the coffee thing was a bit odd, but it some how mad it work. I loved it a lot and I personally thought the beginning was the best but it was really nice.
-
I like the first 5 sentences then thinks get a little cliche and out of place, especially the last line; it seemed totally random. I think it's also way too spaced out from the rest of the poem, I didn't even see it until I started typing my comment. Anyways, I noticed an error in the fifth line as well.. "coffee like as if". The "like" isn't necessary.
Good luck in the contest you've entered this with as well as with future endeavors with your poetry.
-corpse -
hehehe i love that little twist at the end darling! i know this is really sadistic but i giggled a little bit at the end lmao! very well done once again hon! <3
-
Wow. The ending was so powerful, I loved it!!!! Great write great write. You did a fantastic job with this piece, and I encourage you to keep up this wonderful work. Good luck!
Wyakin
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
