quitting you.

don't you get that you're a sad epidemic?
that everything you say, write and think
makes me feel sick inside for the guilt
you try to make me feel.

don't you get that i don't regret us,
i just regret some of what we had?

it's a pandemic,
it's a mass hysteria for us,
a crucification of anything
we ever shared.


i felt it ending
that day, on the bed,
when we laid side by side
and we tried to fool ourselves.


and you grabbed my wrists,
made me listen
but i didn't want to.


i wanted to shut my eyes to you forever
and pretend, something saved me all those
years ago, but that i didn't know what it was.


i want to pretend you were some angel
in the past that saved me,
i can't even look at your letters
and i can't burn them.


you've put me in a purgatory
and an abyss that I'm comfortable in.


I've quit the pills,
I've quit you,
I've quit who I used to be.


but suddenly you try to pop up everywhere,
you're going to fucking kill me.