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Peace & Beauty.

In come the crowds
of tear filled people
each with a different memory,
of me.

My coffin
lays still
on the trolley so smooth
waiting to be planted safe,

underground.

I cannot see
but I can hear
the mumbling voices
of guest's and beloved family.

Soft music plays
as the tissues and handkerchiefs
of saddened people
come out.

Rose petals
drop one by one
as they fall
besides the trolley.

 

Pianos

playing sounds

of brilliance

so sad in every way.

I lay silent
so still,
in my own world
of what I call peace and beauty.

Author notes


Well basically, this is my own imagination of what my funeral, could be like.
I hope you think its okay, I just managed to write it all up in a short space of time. So it may not be a quality poem. But that's your choice on what you think . Thankyou for any comments and tips etc. Enjoy!

A contest entry

I'd love your opinion's and thought's on this poem, thankyou.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Tainted-Faith
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    And a wonderfull imagination it is!! well done i loved it!
    Keep up the amazing write.
    I want more. LOL.

    Jezz
    (HeartKeeper)


  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    This is sad

    This one I dont think she will do because it is of dieing honey let me check out some more .She told me she wouldnt print poetry of taking ones life or death .


  • redhanded
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful. I am amazed by all of your work, it keeps me wanting to read more and more I especially liked the line
    "My coffin
    lays still
    on the trolley so smooth
    waiting to be planted safe,

    underground"

    it is a really nice metaphor. loved this write very much. it shows the beauty in a funeral although some believe there isnt any. lol. I do

    best of luck to you, and keep penning would hate to waste such talent and shear brillance
    andi
    (redhanded)


  • trekkergirl
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    sort of eerie if you know what I mean. Talking about ones funeral even if you did make it sound rather peaceful. Good write.

  • ea silver member
    September 1
    Edit | Reply
    a very peaceful and romantic portrayal of this event. Thank you.


  • TommyStclair
    September 1
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    i like t his it has powerful emotions keep on writing


  • PinkeyPromise
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great write. but dont think about the end of ur life. thats not a good thing to think about.

    ~destiny

  • Well written, but don't think about the end of life so much...enjoy your life...but don't stop writing!


  • Emoforever
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    oww i love it.I get what you are trying to say.Great job if you ever need a friend to talk to i am here.Once again i love it.And you are not alone.

  • I thought that was nice. A bit sad though, don't you think?
    But it's a good reminder, that everything doesn't neccesarily end after the end.

    Well done.


  • lil lette
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    i thought this was a good write. loved the rose petals nice job keep writing


  • darkloverdark
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    "in my own world
    of what I call peace and beauty."

    A perfect ending to a graet write. Thanks for posting this, it really spole to me.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 31
    Edit | Reply

    Very well worded here

    I found your poem most peaceful indeed . I loved the rose petals to .


  • xxSerendipityxx
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    This is great, very peaceful! Best of luck in the contests!


  • blackrabbit. gold member
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    sounds really peaceful.

    almost comforting to look forward to.
    imagine if you were immortal and your life was full of hell and pain?


  • AngelicDreams
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    I like this. It's sounds peaceful.


  • HannahsDead
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    i love this it's so indepth of the human life and after life great writ

  • I really liked it. It was creative. My favorite part was the fact that you could hear everything that was going on. Really good. Keep it up.


  • Sin with a grin
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    its pretty good. its not how i would totally imagion my funeral but its good.


    • Coloured Skies
      August 31
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks
      Well I suppose that everyone has different views on their own funeral. This is not my complete view on my own, I just scribbled my thoughts down . Thanks once again.

  • Great job!

    awwww lovely. its sad but its not like "I WANT TO KILL MYSELF" and I think we need more writes like this on this site cause I am soo sick of writes like that. But this....this was beautfiul. I love the imagery. xxxxx


  • Karra-Mayy
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    i really like this

    as you know cause im all into that stuff

    it was spooky in a way because

    your supost to be dead but yet your thinking how lovely the music is ect and hear the soft cry of beloved friends and geusts

    that kinda freaked me out

    BUT you best not leave me biatch! lool

    if anyones leaving im going first so i dont have to suffer you going lol

    love you chick!


  • evershine-90
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, quiet the topic It's very calm and serene, not very painful but beautiful. Great job!


  • xkadiex
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    i like the way that you dont leave the subject of this write, which in this case is death. i like the way so much emotion has been placed with words so well, well done.

1 - 25 of 25