Ol' Mare, I thought we'd never again ride
But when I opened my eyes there you stood
Saddled and ready for the other side
Our journey today is bound to be good
I last seen the nurse earlier this morn
This city's no place for me and my horse
So we'll make trail to the land I was born
Holding all day to our southerly course
Five brothers had I when my life had begun
Five brothers have died as well as a son
Six graves to visit on this, my last ride
On each a single red rose I will tie
The sun’s going down, Ol' Mare we best hurry
We’ve got a few more miles to go tonight
It’s getting dark now, old girl don’t worry
I know this long trail by feel, not sight
The land rises up to caress the sky
The land rises to a place called Birdseye
I’m home once more on the hill that I love
Ol' Mare we made it to the trail up above
Author notes
This was written (recently edited) in 2002 as part of my eulogy for my father. It seemed every horse he ever owned he called Ol' Mare.
I visited him at the hospital the day before he passed. The next day I was on the tractor feeding cattle when I found out he was gone. He hadn't ridden in several years, but I couldn't help but think of him on his big black mare, riding off to Birdseye stopping by my uncle's graves and then on to my brother's.
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
In a list
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Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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This is a beautiful eulogy to your father, he sounds like he was one darn fine gentleman.
This is not a criticism, but Im curious as to why you switched your rhyme scheme on the last stanza? Im trying to learn about poetry so I can give more insightful comments and you don't seem to mind questions, so I am hoping it's ok to ask.
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Your Words
speak volumes from the depths of your spirit. To fondly yet powerfully give life to one who filled that crucial role of a father, is a treasure indeed. i appreciate your honesty and emotion in those pieces where you allow us an inward look. Many thanks for sharing as always.
PureCountry
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I like it, its self explanitory but still makes you think
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Thanks for awakening my memories.
I love the country....when I lost my Dad...I could see him walking the fields with Old Buck his hunting dog. Now autumn is kinda sad for me. Loved this poem
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This poem is really very special because it brought back memories of those novels of Sudden which I devoured from my fathers' collection and got hooked to despite myself.This poem is equally beautiful with same eathy feel and addictive appeal.Glad to have read this one.Take care and share some more poetry...
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you just give me goosebumps. I never ever imagined I would love 'cowboy' poetry, but you certainly have made an avid fan out of me. Rory...you are one of the best
Love, Lane
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Great tribute to your father, great write.
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deserves more....
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In honor of a man...
a great man ..
a great father....
a great friend.....
he did it right my friend....
your a hell of a writter.
i salute him and you with this.
Bless you Rory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mynzbmrtp9I
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Whoa Rory.... this is probably the most impressive poem that I've read in a LONG time. Without typing 'emotion' you've written it all through this piece. Showing and not telling is so much better and you seem to have a natural 'nack' for it... There is such comfort in your words.
You must have had an excellent father... I envy you.
Excellent write my friend.
~Melissa
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WOW
This was well writen and very Passionate. I can just see him riding the horse down to their graves. It was so emotional and vivid. I loved this poem!!!!!!!! I hope to read more of your poems and that they are more like this one!!!!!!!!! -
Excellent
The words of the poem are all that is important. They are wonderful words discribing the determination of a strong old man to finish his life his way. Wonderful raw poetry needs no limits.
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A very nice tribute - evokes those moments each of us face as we fade into the sunset like the proverbial cowboy and old soldiers heading home. I enjoyed the read.
Happy trails.
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Rory,
after i read the whole piece then the
Authors notes. i felt your imagery come
to life, the last ride of a father is precious and
dear, it was beautiful~
thank you so much for penning
such a beautiful peice for us to share
with love and blessings
Rend
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This is beautiful. Such a wonderful tribute for your father. I love the thought of him leaving this world doing what he loved most.
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Well, mate. I shed a tear as I read this piece. It was so filled with the love from a rider to his loving horse. This story was just sensational and your authors notes really brought the whole thing to life in such a great way. I guess your father had reason to call all his horse Ol'Mare. I knew someone who called all their cars they owned, Old Lizzie. Sucha great poem with excellent flow. I was looking at that picture you had and was wondering just what that was as I have seen that hill before many times and do not know what it is called. It is really a fascinating sight. Thanks for the great read and keep up the great work.
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The mountain in the picture is Chief Mountain, located a few miles south of the US-Can border in Montana. It has much significance to the Blackfoot Indians. I grew up with this view, just across the border in Alberta, Canada. I've written many poems that incorporate Chief Mountain, but one in particular is about the Blackfoot legend surrounding this mountain. It can be found here:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3864369
Sorry, I didn't respond sooner to your question.
As always, thanks for reading and commenting.
Rory
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This one reaches deep, with the imagery of a man and his horse going on a journey, a very personal journey which touches everyone who loved them. I like the sense of his own knowing of what was important, and the mix of sentiment that his legacy leaves....and oats for Ol Mare. I love how you bring him to life for us in the telling.
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Thanks for sharing. I wrote one, to my father, too. It is called: August is my time of sadness. And just wanted to let you know this poem, is sad.. but lets us know what a father is all about and how he liked things. Thanks once again. Take care.
Sandi -
What better write could a father have written for him? Tailor made for the way he lived his life, the things he loved, the land he was part of. He will be very proud of what you have done in his honour and so should you. If those thoughts were running through your mind at his passing then that is exactly the route he took. A pleasure and a privilege to read. Sheila
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Like all good ending the cowboy rides off into the sunset.I love how you have woven this piece using life and its end to produce a most enjoyable read
and a tribute to your father and all the Ol' mares who shared his life
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He would be proud to know that you wrote this tender poem for him. "saddled and ready for the other side" carried by a favorite horse, this is what a cowboy could hope for, nothing would be better. I also like the line "I know this trail by feel, not sight" a familiar beaten path of a life well lived.
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A beautiful way to think of someone who mean't so much, and what better image to have created than one as this.Thank you for sharing this special time ..Lovely...mal
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Many times I have wondered if the last trail home could be like this. You have put it into words beautifully.
Thanks for sharing this my friend.
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No words, Cowboy...Just this:
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