Once a symbol that was world renown. It shattered at the might of a booming sound. It endured through the ages and where knowledge was profound.
Now it’s nothing more then smoldering debris as the ashes hit the ground. Bought down not by its enemy but by those who pray at its mound. The ones who say forgive your neighbor as their heads they bow.
But any knowledge of their own wrong doing they will disavow. And they swear to an emblem that means nothing to them now. For any disgrace toward their beliefs, they will not allow.
Even if its own clerics burn the Vatican down. They will dawn their ceremonial gowns. And they will pray to a god their dead to now.
Chanting the Lord’s Prayer as the ashes, they surround. Praying for a path that may never be found.
A contest entry
- Prewrites again :] 3 chances to win :] by Ami.
575 points, ended September 6, 62 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bronze Prewrites by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended September 18, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is a good piece, the stanzas all had something that was worthwhile and striking in them, maybe the first can be worked on to really grab the reader but nicely done. best to you in the contest
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I too agree that it flows well only I think it would be better if you structured it different. Like start a new line after each rhyme word. Something like this;
''Once a symbol that was world renown.
It shattered at the might of a booming sound.
It endured through the ages and where knowledge was profound.''
I think it would be better that way but it's your poem, you don't have to change anything if you don't want. Anyway you did well with the subject matter here.
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Wow This was a great Anti religion write and the flow was amazing
Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
stanza one does not read smoothley may want to rewrite or something along those lines
other then that you wrote another great piece :} -
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This may be stupid considering I have written about 250 poems in 2 years. But could you possibly tell me what a stanza is? Because when you ask me to edit you always say which stanza you have a problem with and I have no idea what it is. Thanks. And thank you for reading.
Allawy
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its like a paragraph. its that clumps of senteces that are put together
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Is there a reason they call it a staza in poetry as oppose to a paragraph?
Allawy
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Amazing i like how the whole thing flows it makes sense and is well written I think the whole think makes sense or it does to me I wouldn't change anything is a really good poem keep on writing ^_^
~Stormy Days~ -
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I think it flows rather nice as well. And if you think about it. With as many scandals, you hear about within the churches nowadays. Its own people will cause its downfall. Therefore, there is no reason for their enemies to blow them up. If their own people are dedicated to the immolation of everything, their brethren worked for and everything their lord has died for.
Allawy
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