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Going Peacefully at Home by the Lake


fishing days over

but the desire never fades

he still snares them in his dreams


looking through window

from hospital bed, he sighs

cancer can't steal what he had




Author notes



Sedoka: The Sedoka is an unrhymed poem is made up of two Katauta poems approaching the same subject from differing perspectives and made into one poem.
Each Katauta poem becomes a staza of the Sedoka poem.

A katauta poem is an unrhymed three lined poem with the following syllable count: 5/7/7

The finished Sedoka poem syllable count then becomes: 5/7/7, 5/7/7

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • daviscth silver member
    August 31

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    This may be short but boy, does it ever pack a punch!!! This is a wonderful poem and just perfect for the prompt. Good luck in the contest.


  • Griswold gold member
    August 30

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    Very well done Suzi, love the way the different Katauta relate to one another, I can totally relate to the first one, and love that way it's written. The second scares me to death. But it as well is well done, making one fine and dandy piece of writing!! You learn quickly young grasshopper.. ... Scott


  • sweet arrival gold member
    August 30

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    ... and why it's so important to me to have good memories to hold onto. enjoying the moments given to me, and seizing the opportunities to truly love in the fullest way. beautiful, suzi


  • just2write silver member
    August 30

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    Your poem is so wistful

    and it pulls at the heartstrings. The first Katauta sets the moods and brings a smile. Such wonderful memories. The second brings sorrow - for the end of life is sad. The finishing line sums up the entire poem so well. It shows much strength and courage. Well done. Rose.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 30

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    This was so poingnantly written. The soft sadness made my heart ache with the pain he must feel. Oh for the freedom of life on the water, I know I yearn. Beautifully done here sweetheart. Made me all wistful. Best to you in the contest

1 - 5 of 5