My Heart Bleeds.

I have come to an understanding with myself,
I have come to accept a hurtful truth,
I have come to accept that I won't have back my love,
But as much as it pains me, I am happy.

I am happy that she is living her life,
Doing what she wants, and becoming what she hopes to be,
I am happy that she is with who shes with,
Being happy, like she was when I was what made her happy.

I wish every day that something will change,
I wish her heart would choose me again,
I wish that she was mine again,
Yet with how much I want her back, I am happy she is gone.

She is happy, not being miserable to make me happy,
She is free, as I struggled to allow her to be,
Everyday my heart bleeds for her, cries for her to come back,
Everyday my heart bleeds for her not to, crying to have life stay the same as it is.

I hate myself for things I know not, like what about me changed her heart away,
I hate myself for things I did, which pushed her away when I should have held tight,
I hate myself for things I think and feel, yet im happy about that,
because without that, I would'nt know I still love her so.

From the day I first met her,
Till the day I purposed to her,
To the day that I pushed her away,
Even untill today, after all the pain its been for me, I still love her.

With everything she is to me, and all we have been through,
Nothing has changed for me, I still love her, I still miss her, I still cry for her,
I only hope that whatever she becomes, whoever shes with, shes happy,
because when we were together I made a promise, to be happy if she is.

Im hurting more with everyday, but I am still happy everyday,
Happy because she chose someone else over me,
Happy because she chose the person who makes her happy,
Happy because shes happy...

And even with how happy I am, to myself I weep, I cry, I wish she were here...
And even with how much pain it is, I am grateful, that I'm not a bane to her,
Because I know, if she chose me, I would be holding her back,
And I cannot do that, So untill I better myself, I will accept my pain and wither.

Elizabeth, this is for you, Thank you for everything, I am sorry for many things, and I will always love you.