Never again will I wait.
Never will I sit here and debate.
On life, love and happiness.
Because it made me such a mess.
Never will I let the shadows in.
Never will I sit in darkness again.
There is a light in this lone some world.
And a voice that calls "you ok babygirl?"
Never will my mind play its games.
Nor will I sit her in shame.
A voice with a light brings in a new hope.
I'll climb up as soon as they drop a rope.
Author notes
little fawn
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What do you think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I like the strength and resolve to never be victimized again and I can so relate to the message but don't wait for someone else to drop the rope. Join with the Light and fly with your guides and angels or build your own rope of survival and climb up. You are the master of your Universe. You get from the Universe what you ask for; you don't get what you don't ask for. Love and Light skye01
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oh, this is beautiful~
that you have internalized such love and hope. Someone in your life must have really loved and cared for you... Always hold onto this!
karen
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Outstanding
I think you mean here in line 10. There is a lot of originality to this poem and I liked your sense of purpose - the refusal to give in. Hope they drop the life line soon!
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Critical Circle
This is interesting because, in most of the poem, the narrator exhibits a proactive attitude, but then, in the last line, when she should be taking action to match her feelings, she becomes passive--not willing to climb out of her own hole; but expecting someone to throw her a rope.
Sometimes, you don't get a rope. Then, what do you do? Let yourself drown? No way.
You could go with this poem either way--showing the narrator being truly proactive or showing her doomed in the end because she isn't truly assertive enough to suit actions to feelings--which is a common failing of people.
Spelling:
Line 7 should be: lonesome
Line 10 should be: here
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turnd out really good taytay. hugs.
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Critical Circle..
Although this is a beautifully sad piece, it does have an amazing strength to it, and that strength just built throughout. Your rhyme was a little shaky, but overall this is great, and so honest. I can really relate, and liked the write immensely. -
Interesting, I like the last couple lines..
'A voice with a light brings in a new hope.
I'll climb up as soon as they drop a rope.'
If I was writing this though, I would punctuate differently. There are some places where I would put commas instead of periods.. Expressive though..
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It was a little shakey in the begining, but the poetic tone built up as I read down and you just nailed it girl. The last 6 lines flowed so perfectly, I just had to smile when I finished reading. Amazing job.
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No matter if not there, u still have a part of me... Your never alone... NEVER! Just keep your head up... I still have high hopes for you in your life to still one day hear you on Television or in the news or even in newspaper talking about how you did something so great!
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Ohh what a sad and very heartfelt write, it pulled on my heartstrings. Wonderful and such vivid imagery and emotion. I hope things get better I will be praying for you. I try to climb out of my hole of depression each day always reaching for the light, it can be so hard. Just know that you are not alone.
Hugs,
Theresa
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