Fading, peeling. Red in hue.
A-frame bent. Unsightly view.
Barn of sagging, rotting wood.
Crumbled stalls where horse once stood.
Weeds as long as Diva hair.
Windows dark, indifferent stare.
Rafter dripping straw from nest,
Where beady eye - sharp teeth infest.
Transformed upon one snowbound night,
Into sheer beauty, morning light.
Roof a blanket, deep...unmarred.
Crystal teardrop hide wood scarred.
Snowflake drifted scarf you wear.
Picture-perfect postcard where
No more old man of failing health;
Instead there sits a winter wealth
Of beauty in forgotten field.
Till frost of spring lay you revealed.
- The Stock Exchange of Good poetry group list • next in list
A contest entry
- 3rd Annual Top Billing Contest - 2009 by Florida Sunshine.
1650 points, ended September 23, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
honest critiques opinions PLEASE
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
This is incredible. Many a barn do I pass and watch change with the seasons, and the unwritten emotions they stir in me are in your poem. Excellant write.
-
Awesome
The imagery you give paints a clear picture of the image you want to present. If a 'city slicker' who has never been to the country to see a barn, new and old, could still understand how this barn looks.
Now, maybe it is just how I look at poetry, but I see so much in this piece. The style you've penned can reflect not just the barn, but life. Life of an individual who reveals a past of how things used to be.
I thought it cleaver the use of the two seasons, spring and winter. Each having a distinction of the different elements. How the snow can cover the most 'ugliest' things and make them seem beautiful; well, until it melts. ~
Awesome job! Thanks for entering and writing for the contest! It was a pleasure reading your work.
-
-
Thank you! And thank you for the bronze. =) This barn sets on my moms land ...complete with cow and hay fields. =) Great contest and some awesome pens!
-
-
Well this is a painting....
pure and simple....
bringing such beauty and serenity....
you are a transporter and a magician of language.
Definitly took me somewhere.
Bless you gypsy,
Liam
-
I love the rhyme scheme and flow. Great imagery btw. Great write. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep up the great work.
Sincerely,
♥ViolentSerenity♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
