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like insanity but better

feel - as though the mind does melt
but far from
unpleasant

painting pictures
of what i imagine you to be
to feel like
being in your presence

sometimes the best is flesh
on flesh

the allure of scent
and sensuality

we must drug ourselves
into feeling
slipping into dreams

i wont lie

i want your lips
your hips

and then you'd open up to me
and for a split second
we'd be happy for eternity

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Jade Rain
    September 1
    Edit | Reply
    I always forget!

  • Jade Rain
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    "i wont lie

    i want your lips
    your hips"

    I like this. It's sexy, cool, and bashfully confident. It reminds me of a room full of incense; murky, dark, daring, mysterious, and leaving you with that smokey-headed lust. It makes me envy this girl.

    This took me a couple of read-throughs to make it flow, but once the dam was broken it became sensational. I think that's because I've never read a style quite like yours. In the short time I've had the pleasure of reading your poety, you've adapted your already unique style, making it so it's yours and yours alone. Bravo, Jon.


  • Mandy Pants
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    i should have read this earlier I LOVE IT. im glad you're writing a lot again. i should follow your lead.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    BRAVO! BRAVO!

    You used a great in k on this poem....
    it was smooth in texture...
    and you slipped us....directed us exactly
    where...

    you want ed us to go!

    WELL DONE POET!
    If you hid this in a black ground
    it would really....gleam!

    way to write!
    ears/Seattle
    GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT SALUTE!


  • Virgo silver member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good, I like the great flow and the sensual feelings. very well written


  • TrixieOne
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    I love the 1st stanza, sets the tone nicely. And I also love "we must drug ourselves
    into feeling, slipping into dreams". I like the title too. A short simple piece that is beautiful and effective.


  • individuality gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    i like the ending here the best, time is an illusion, and can stretch or pass by in an instant, usually, it is when we are in sorrow's domain that time stretches but yes, to have time last forever, a second, a minute etc when in joy's realm, then that is good in my eyes.


  • Son of Thought
    August 28

    Edit | Reply

    Great!

    Desire can be a force to truly be recconed with it really can drive a person insane

    PS I would love it if you would critique one of my poems.


  • Frances Nightengale
    August 28
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. This makes me ache for my dear Emily.


  • L1l1um
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Its so easy to get swept away in fantasy. Desire can be as overwhelming as insanity. " I wont lie. I want your lips; your hips." Such a simple statement, but it sounds soo hot. Good write! (your fan)L

1 - 10 of 10