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That last hope, to be that you long to be

 

i could put a sword to your throat
and hold your being in my hands
and take away your life

never the less

saying that what would you have learned
only that men are cruel
but if i speak words to you
i might not be able to change you
but those words spoken may touch you
you will be touched by my words
never the less without cause
those words would compound your every beating heart
and that conscience would beat one last time
and to feel that was to feel alive
you will feel that living breath again
you will have dreamed
without fear
to live that dream
if only for that second
you believed you could have lived forever
without fear
without reprisal of any kind
whether that be the kingdom in you heart
whether that be the kingdom in your living conscience
only now would you have learned
that you can live those moments forever
that what men will,will be so
that what men desire,desire they will
what cruelness is to the cruel
without gain their lies no return
when kindness is goodness in kind
only in that moment would you have seen what you could be
never to be that ghost of what you have become

only to be that shadow you overcame

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • lesbian-in-love
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Thanks for entering and best of luck!


  • spideracer gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    ''saying that what would you have you learned'', and ''to feel how was to feel alive''. In first line lose the second ''you''. In second line add ''it'' between ''how'' and ''was''. They are my suggestions there, to make the flow consistent throughout. Apart from those two lines, the poem is very well written, with so much emotion running through the poem. Take care and thank you for the link to this new work of mixed emotions from you.


  • Diablosanjil gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Deeply Intense. and very powerful words.Great write Keep at it


  • penman gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting.

    My goodness, so much emotion shared. Very intense and descriptive. thank you for sharing.


    • Deaths Prayer
      August 28
      Edit | Reply

      :)

      Thanks mate. this is the way i write majority of the time. you can see what gets my blood boiling always searching and asking questions.

      Past couple of hours i've been in the sorrow of life coming out through hope. always having each "joy" fighting each "pain" a constant battle. i'm just being deep and relfected.

1 - 5 of 5