I'll play with your souls
Create a paranoia of the blood-mask on my face,
My physique is the only constellation
Not lit up by the heavens--
In darkness I'll pursue my silent carnival
Where torture chambers are the attractions
And under the universal ringleader I act out your fate.
Author notes
Prompt: Cosmic Clown
THIS IS MY NEWEST ONE.
G I N R Y U S T A R G A Z E R
A contest entry
- Aloha Friday Quickie! 8 poets...10 minutes...7 lines... by islekine.
550 points, ended August 28, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - show me how far you've come. (PREWRITES!) by emma....
1100 points, ended September 12, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Poems that won a trophy by Not-The-Sun.
550 points, ended September 6, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow, this is great! I can definitely tell you've improved as a writer since your 1st AllPoetry post; this poem is much more complex, even though it is shorter.
Thanks for entering, & good luck
(I know I already commented, but that was before I read your 1st write.) -
creepy >.< reminded me of the movie "IT".
"Create a paranoia of the blood-mask on my face" definitely reminded me of the movie.
i like the reference to the stars; very unique and creative
other great phrases are "silent carnival" and "universal ringleader". well penned! congrats on the shiny!
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This is really well-written; the imagery is beautiful :] Even though it is short, you put so much powerful emotion into it. I love the lines;
"My physique is the only constellation
not lit up by the heavens--"
Absolutely gorgeous writing there.
Would you please put your user name spaced out in the AN? Otherwise I won't be able to judge this and I'll have to DQ you, so please put it in as soon as possible.
Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest
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^^
Another hard earned trophy... I've said it many times before, you are better than me.
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Oh you shuddup there,
!!!
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>_>
You know it's true, even Kay said so... She didn't know it was either of our poems, just to keep it fair. -
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Really?
Which of my poems and yours did you compare to her? -
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The ones we entered for the gaurdian angel caontest... Just so they were the same topic.
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Another very creative take!
Clowns are a bit dark today!
Thanks for entering...best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on and on!
and
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THanks for hte awesome comment!! ^^
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oh yeah - I see that - nice!
I like your title, too!
(I should modify my background...lol)
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What's the point of modifying a quickie!?
Not many people are gonna see it, heh.
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that's true....lol
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This is good! I like your wording!
best wishes in the contest.
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Ha ha, I just modified the background for fun.
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