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Toying with the Gods

I'll play with your souls
Create a paranoia of the blood-mask on my face,
My physique is the only constellation
Not lit up by the heavens--
In darkness I'll pursue my silent carnival
Where torture chambers are the attractions
And under the universal ringleader I act out your fate.

Author notes

Prompt: Cosmic Clown

THIS IS MY NEWEST ONE.

G I N R Y U S T A R G A Z E R

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • emma...
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is great! I can definitely tell you've improved as a writer since your 1st AllPoetry post; this poem is much more complex, even though it is shorter.
    Thanks for entering, & good luck
    (I know I already commented, but that was before I read your 1st write.)


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    creepy >.< reminded me of the movie "IT".
    "Create a paranoia of the blood-mask on my face" definitely reminded me of the movie.
    i like the reference to the stars; very unique and creative
    other great phrases are "silent carnival" and "universal ringleader". well penned! congrats on the shiny!

  • emma...
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    This is really well-written; the imagery is beautiful :] Even though it is short, you put so much powerful emotion into it. I love the lines;
    "My physique is the only constellation
    not lit up by the heavens--"
    Absolutely gorgeous writing there.
    Would you please put your user name spaced out in the AN? Otherwise I won't be able to judge this and I'll have to DQ you, so please put it in as soon as possible.
    Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest

  • mezuku
    August 29

    Edit | Reply

    ^^

    Another hard earned trophy... I've said it many times before, you are better than me.


    • GinryuStargazer
      August 29

      Edit | Reply
      Oh you shuddup there, !!!

      • mezuku
        August 30
        Edit | Reply

        >_>

        You know it's true, even Kay said so... She didn't know it was either of our poems, just to keep it fair.


        • GinryuStargazer
          August 31
          Edit | Reply

          Really?

          Which of my poems and yours did you compare to her?

          • mezuku
            September 1
            Edit | Reply
            The ones we entered for the gaurdian angel caontest... Just so they were the same topic.


  • islekine gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply

    Another very creative take!

    Clowns are a bit dark today!
    Thanks for entering...best wishes in the contest and always!
    Write on and on!

    and


  • aboomer silver member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    oh yeah - I see that - nice!
    I like your title, too!
    (I should modify my background...lol)


  • aboomer silver member
    August 28
    Edit | Reply
    This is good! I like your wording!
    best wishes in the contest.

1 - 15 of 15