Shouldn't I..........Am I?

here i am
chapter closed
single again
away from the one man
i ever  loved

no tears shed
alil' laughing
a drink or two
shouldn't i be sad
that five years
wasted down the drain

shouldn't i hold back
sink to sorrow
try to slit my wrist
want to die
be alil' mournful
of how it all went down
from perfection to another sad sad love story
in no more then a few strokes

shouldn't i
be anything but happy
i'm single
'n couldn't wait to be single
isn't there something wrong
with that statement
how could love go so ary

shouldn't i
shouldn't i

but
i'm not
is there something wrong with that
i laughed
didn't weep
couldn't of cared less
it was the inevitable
sooner or later
unhappily ever after

'n i went on
never spoke of it
didn't try and figure it all out
i was happy to refocus on me
or
maybe i was just refocusing
on anything to take my mind away
to make me forget
that he'll always
no matter what
have a piece of my heart
'n i'll never forget
or fully get over
the loss of the taste
of first love's kiss.