Big Talker

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I got this neighbor
He knows everything about everything
At least he likes to think he does
He thinks he's the smartest dang thing that ever was

He'll talk about politics
Runnin' his mouth like some nuclear reactor
How to make muffins, or set my relations straight
When the sun rises, he'll say it's three minutes late

We were talkin' one day
Over the fence, like neighbors do
I should say, he was talkin'
His mouth just wouldn't stop
Flappin' his jaw, and rattlin' his teeth
Blowin' a hurricane of hot air
         All the long while...
I was tryin' to find a way outta there

He told me about aliens
And what God thinks of appaloosas
He was demonstratin' the process of mastication
When I finally hit my limit of irritation

I just said
"You talk a lot about a little
And I have to say, you do know quite a bit
But, if you know everything...
Why are you standin'... in a pile of horse shit"



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