There's always a vermilion mist surrounding him,
it's the hue of his existence.
He walks in the darkness, his grace hypnotic,
he prefers anemic phantom over vampire.
His innocence resonates when he plays the harp,
plucking a dirge for the mortality he conquered long ago.
But his compulsion to fill his blood hunger
transforms him back into a monster,
and the sweet songs he sings are muted
by the screams of his victims.
He seems so pale under the moon and mercurial light,
bones jutting from the remains of a lover I lost to madness,
to vampirism.
There are spaces of time where paranoia envelops me,
and I sit on the fringe of insanity.
I have visions of him waiting in the obscure shadows,
premonitions of him stepping from the darkness
to consummate our dead love with his syringe teeth.
Author notes
r e d m o o n n r i z i n g
OPTION #1 : I changed the tenses on some.
premonitions consummate phantom syringe
paranoid obscure hypnotic compulsion bones
transform resonate hunger muted conquer
moon harp dirge existence vermilion mist
blood darkness fringe pale innocent
hues remains anemic mercurial spaces
A contest entry
- Vampire or shapeshifter by darkyinsoul.
650 points, ended October 23, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Phenomenal Write.
This is outstanding. Breathtaking penning. So elegant yet so devious. Your a soul of darkness, and you pulse it brilliantly. I adore this piece. It radiates truths...so overwhelmingly beautiful. Brava on a brilliant write.
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Wow!
Good luck in the contest!
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Outstanding
Dearest poetess I love this
you yeild the dark oh so well
love this bit..
There's always a vermilion mist surrounding him,
it's the hue of his existence.
He walks in the darkness, his grace hypnotic,
he prefers anemic phantom over vampire.
His innocence resonates when he plays the harp,
plucking a dirge for the mortality he conquered long ago.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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Best dark poem ive read in a long long long time? Yes.
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Thanks much.
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"His innocence resonates when he plays the harp,
plucking a dirge for the mortality he conquered long ago"
Great lines I love the shadows of darkness you have painted upon the screen. Gotta love those vampyres....Thanks so much for entering and Good Luck in the Contest!!!
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And the word bank lives on ....
Seems ominous these blood lust.
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Hee! Those pesky Vampyres! And yes, you really do reinvent that old blood sucker. Pretty amazing images, and nice juxtaposition of lovely and evil... A very charming and yet alarming piece.... frightening to see your ex now one of the undead! But isn't that the way ALL ex-lovers turn out! Mine are usually zombified by dating me... usually only after... a couple of weeks! Hee! Great job.
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I don't think any of my boyfriends are alive to begin with. ;D
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Wow. That is amazing. You did a stunning job...and all those words. WOW.
Best of luck in the contest.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Thank you.
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such a great write!
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Whoa
Amazing read and the alternative of Anemic Phantom over vampire is a great twist to an old tale. Innocence lost, love, lust, the need to consummate, You 've given life to a new kind of vampire. Well done
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This take on vampirism was an enjoyable read, the wordbank you used to great affect too. Imagery and emotions flow through this poem like they should, bringing the reader voluntarily into your dark mind. I'm sure the judge will be pleased with this write, and to revise you can only add to the darkness you've created here. Take care and good luck in the contest.
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Oh, wow. I enjoyed this, though my lips twitched a bit at "anemic phantom". Don't worry; I caught them.
I cannot decide whether or not you were playing with this stanza:
"He seems so pale under the moon and mercurial light,
bones jutting from the remains of a lover I lost to madness,
to vampirism."
I feel like part of his madness is not just his vampirism, but his love for the night; however, I suppose that might be a symptom of the vampirism. It must be the imagery of "mercurial light".
I really enjoyed the last stanza. The fear of an old lover really intrigued me. It might be my favorite stanza.
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