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Unconsious Surfaces

A secret affair
of overwhelming heartbeats,
a swirling unexpected state of shock.

A contemplation of musical spark plugs,
sending showers of light into the night skies
creating artificial fireflies.

Twinkling lights of reflected eyes,
flashing in multiple luminous moonrises;
the sands of another planet running through alien fingers.

The invigorating rush of free-falling through time,
crushing all barriers of the physical world
to make way for our intangible universe.

Author notes

I felt like being really abstract, it was fun, but let me know what you think!

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Comments


  • Antebellum
    November 13

    Edit | Reply
    Twinkling lights of reflected eyes,
    flashing in multiple luminous moonrises;
    the sands of another planet running through alien fingers.
    ...
    I love this part. Amazing write. I like the title...it fits with this.
    thanks for entering.


  • laurel
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    i like =)
    couple suggestions:
    i would change line six to "and creating artificial fireflies" just to add another beat and help it flow back into the line before it.
    you could use a semicolon in line eight, i think, since it's a bigger break.
    conversely... you could also nix the comma in line eleven. i thought it was distracting, but it doesn't really matter.

    over all, i liked the helter-skelter of this. good write =)