Visions of you are warped in my mind
the memories seem to be warm
yet they're colorless.
You twist back and forth in your sleep
as shame takes over
and for once you're sorry for being deceitful.
Several times you've lied to me,
but now you seem so speechless.
The truth is no longer cloaked
in your excuses, and I'm afraid
you may just vanish.
Don't leave me now.
Author notes
Word bank prompt:
vanish, shame, cloak, deceitful, several, twist, warm, warp, colorless, speechless
I believe I used some form of each word. If I used any of them wrong please let me know.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This flowed with such ease that I was totally unaware it was a wordbank write, to use 10 words from a wordbank in such a short poem and it NOT be obvious..is no easy task. I loved the contradiction of the last line. Well done and good luck in the contest
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Very good
This was very well done, I especially like how you emphasized choice words with italics. Very nice keep it up. -
Good work
I enjoyed this work, its a poem with a emotion I can often relate to.
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its a mellow tone set to this piece of a lovers deceitful(liar).....hidden(cloaked), dumbfounded(speechless), shame(disgrace), twice(several), vanish(disappear), twist(turn), warm(tepid), warp(bent),colorless(pallid), you used them all properly.....that's why is was a gr8 read.....well-written......imagery well on display....love peace & harmony
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Ohh I like this! Makes the reader ponder whether he was unfaithful or something! Great use of the word bank x
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Truth
Sad and hopeful truly a beautiful poem.. lots of emotion... these lines say it all...The truth is no longer cloaked
in your excuses, and I'm afraid
you may just vanish.
Don't leave me now.
PKO
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Good job with the word bank. Enjoyed reading.
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Awww =(
This is a great piece, babe.
At one point I could totally relate.
"Don't leave me now"
Such powerful emotion in just that last sentence.
Great job and thank you so much for this wonderful write.
-Kati Anne -
very cool frantic feel
The beat seems manic and quick as it should for the message...the sudden halt of the single last phrase is like a sudden clutch of a hand on an arm...very effective. Good pen
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you are very good at these word banks girl... You really astound me how you can take those words and make something so interesting to read. Thanks for sharing these with us.
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Very nicely done using the word bank, my best wishes.
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I really liked the use of the words here, imagery and vision while showing a little redemption from the one you are infatuated with. Nicely done.
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