Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Darkness

                        Darkness 
                Like a deep hole
          That you can not escape
          Being taken over by depression
                      Blackness

Author notes

I found Darkness was a noun, cinquain

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • lilangelsnemesis gold member
    September 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nice Cinqain. However line 4 is 10 syllables instead of the 8 that it should be. I wish I had time to allow you to correct it but I am in the process of judging. Plus, I had the rules to the forms posted clearly. Other than that this is a very nice piece.

    Thank-you for entering the contest! Do not reply to this comment so as to remain annonymous.


  • Tqop
    September 7
    Edit | Reply
    I like it. Thanks for sharing. It had a lot of feelings put into this short but nice piece.


  • zoev
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Depression and self-loathing is an endless downward spiral. I think you really captured this idea with you're simple, short yet powerful poem. Thanks for sharing


  • on the beach
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    but at least within darkness and depression is perception of it which shows that blackness is more like a calling for some light then anything else...makes you want to sing gospel songs? I figure...if I can cry about it or grieve in some way, and talk to somebody about it, even when I'm being really annoying and whining, at least I'm still dancing a little and from there redemtion is bound to spark again. Think of the invention of fire. Friction between sticks or stones until something finally sparkes. Walaaa!!!!!