gurgling rapids-
we dip our oars in
whiteness
A contest entry
- Color Me-Ku by azure85.
1750 points, ended September 7, 45 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Needed...
to come back in here and congradulate the top seven. You're first. Congrats on the gold for a solid write.
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Hum...
So this is what a Gold contemp Haiku looks like!
Yes. Worthy. 
Great imagery, auditory & visual...bravo.
for this wonderful write. Soon I hope to get out of this trad Ku box I'm in. 
Congrats. 
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Thanks so much. Am glad you enjoyed. Actually, i wasn't even aware of the audio part till it was pointed out. Hey, i like you smileys/emoticons. Wish i knew how to use them!
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Super
I love it
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HA! Now, why am I not surprised?
Congratulations on your gold! Ooo, shiny...!
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Hehe...thanks a lot, sweetie!
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This is an excellent haiku, you have the scene of the roaring river and the froth of the waves. Created in a very traditional manner, it is a good haiku. Thank you so much.
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Thanks so much for your comments and for the gold!
Congrats to all the other winners!
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aw, Great KU'..from sound to colour...very vividly done....the pictures quickly jump into my mind..it's has its own elegance...your aha-moment has a wonderful pondering effect.
Erwin
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I do believe they call this white-water rafting! Much too risky for me, thanks. But whatever... I had to say this... floats your boat!
*dodges flying projectiles*
Puns aside, I really enjoyed this. I tend to have a hard time writing haiku with the fragment first. It just naturally flows the opposite way for me more times than not. However, you've pulled it off so well, here! It's a very nice, clear, refreshing image. I can see what's happening, but you didn't tell me everything. Is it a large river, or just a creek? Are the rapids strong, or only mild? How about the ones doing the paddling? How many are there? Are they experienced, or could they be beginners taking a lesson from their coach?
No, you don't say any of this, you just give us the bare-bones image, just the way haiku should be. I can make up my own story to go with it, or just settle for this little snapshot in time. Wonderful!
I love how you were able to combine the serene beauty of nature, as if taking a photo, and yet capture the movement, the action, of what's actually happening. They way you speak of the oars, it could just as easily be canoes on a lake, hence the serenity of the location is retained, yet the "rapids" and the "whiteness" show that the water is, indeed, moving, and this is no evening canoe ride.
In case you can't tell, I really enjoyed this haiku.
In fact, this may be the longest review I've ever left for a haiku! Ha!
Shows just how much you can say with only a few words. If I were running this contest, you'd definitely be in my finalists list, and you'd stand a very good chance of taking the gold. And I'm picky. XD
Best wishes (as if you need them) in the contest!
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I like this! very good
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